Damion Meyer

Just got a second subscriber to my YouTube "channel" that has never had a single video posted. Like do they know something I don't?

When I was growing up Starz was the channel that had the absolute newest movies after they'd left theaters. They had stuff even before HBO. When did it become...what it is?

Looking back at some of my flash fiction submissions, and I see that three lit mags that I sent a specific combination of four flash pieces are all now defunct. So, if anyone has a grudge against a publication, let me know, because I apparently have a scythe in my "completed" folder

Played spades with a guy in the Army and called him a cheater. He threatened to knock my teeth out and told me to go learn how to play.

I've since played literally thousands of hands of spades against IRL players, online opponents, or computers. And I can say now:

He definitely fucking cheated

Same exact energy

youtu.be/2Omv47xvOKE?...

I know it has no relation, but I get incredibly strong Calvin and Hobbes vibes from this, like the actual illustration style

two men in suits and ties are standing next to each other in front of a window . ALT: two men in suits and ties are standing next to each other in front of a window .

Me and my friends at 15: If you're talented and famous, you'll probably die at 27

Me, still breathing at 45:

Soooooo, my A1C six months later is 5.4. And anything under 5.6 is "normal." So I was absolutely diabetic, but now I'm...not?

Why do I feel like I'm being punked

More and more, i'm convinced reality is a simulation. Ever heard of the movie Steel Dawn with Patrick Swayze? Yeah, NO ONE has but me. And it popped in my head a whole back, making me think about trying to find it once a week or so. Well I just signed up for Starz, and guess what is on there? Yeah.

Just played the funniest round of spades. My partner and I both bid nil, and our opponents bid 10 between them, with 8 sandbags already in their pocket. I hit my nil, but my partner took a trick. And the opponents took two sandbags, so everyone just ended up scoring zero

Imperial officer: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion--"

Vader: "Motherfucker, the Jedi were in partial control of the whole galaxy TWENTY YEARS AGO. You're like 40? So the people practicing this 'ancient religion' were still around for literally HALF YOUR LIFE."

I hate the phrase "encouragement sandwich" and other phrases using "_____ sandwich" in the same way, because they all treat the _____ as the bread, when a real sandwich is about what's in the middle. You don't call a piece of baloney between two pieces of bread a bread sandwich, do you?

Oh, so the rapture is supposed to happen today, I guess? Honestly, I hope it does. Maybe some really annoying people could get sucked up into the sky

What is you don't HAVE to say it, but you say it anyway?

Andy Dwyer from Parks and Recreation saying "I don't know what 'rich' means when it comes to food and at this point I'm too afraid to ask"

It me

No, just no. Bad AI! Very bad AI!

He looks like a brown Tim Robinson with less humorous attributes

I loved the little production design details, like the Weyland Yutani beer cans that I just never noticed on the small screen. They never say the name of "the company" out loud in the first movie, but it was already there

I swear Michael Keaton says it like that in Mr. Mom

At least when it inevitably changes back in three years, we'll still have all the old stuff in storage

Joseph McNeil was one of four students who staged a sit-in at a segregated Woolworth’s lunch counter in Greensboro, North Carolina, in 1960. They ignited one of the U.S. most consequential student protest movements. From left, Joseph McNeil, Franklin McCain, Billy Smith and Clarence Henderson.

If you see this, QTP with a title screen that's iconic to you!

Lies? Kennedy?

It wasn't the use in AI training that got them the money, it was the piracy

a man wearing glasses and a black suit is standing in front of a sign that says ' the ' on it ALT: a man wearing glasses and a black suit is standing in front of a sign that says ' the ' on it

That moment you think you have an actual unique story idea, but you can't ask anyone if they've heard of similar stories for fear they'll steal your idea

Remember when old TVs and CRT monitors had that high pitched whine when they were turned on? I could tell a TV was on from the next room with the sound muted

Remember when you could dial your own phone number from your landline phone and hang up, and then it would ring, and two people who picked up the phone at the same time could talk to each other?

Just remember it's spelled exactly like colander but with a different beginning, middle, and end. Easy.

I thought shame was beaten out of them in law school