sam circle

4 year old: “why are some families two dads”

me: “sometimes two boys fall in love and decide to start a family”

4: “and how many cars do they have”

me: “what”

4: “does a family with two dads have just one car like us or do they have two cars”

To say that i 'know how to use the toilet' implies that I theres nothing more I can learn, which I reject

we should have known noam chomsky would be associates with jeffery epstein. they both had a shared interest in email

what's the matter, novella boy? afraid you might enjoy a subplot?

Was frantically tapping the sound button on this and realized the audio was playing in my fiancé’s AirPods downstairs. He heard the music and came upstairs because he thought I “was watching Lord of the Rings,” and I had to grimly turn my phone toward him as an animatronic pig jawed silently

i made kangaroo burgers earlier and she had one and lost her mind . now its 1:30am and shes still awake staring at me in case i make more

Me in the Criterion Closet: wow Hollow Man, what a film

Criterion employee: you aren’t allowed to bring movies in

Me in the Criterion Closet shaking my sleeves in an odd way: wow Hollow Man 2, what a film

It would take forever to describe every single grain of sand on a beach. That's why the clever writer simply says "beach"

the way this was the season where it fell off a bit in popular estimation (e.g. losing the emmy to Homeland) is so outrageous because it's really the show at its best

Sea hawks tuah. Touch down on that thang

niiiiice

this is the type of shit dr jacoby was uploading in the return

i suggest that the "big tent" should set aside purity politics and follow popular opinion on this one

I have spoken aloud exactly once. My words became known as "Dullard's Remark"

this was fairly lucky, my prior best was in the 14s. Aim for slim triangles of empty space that you balance out with a slim triangle the other direction @ next opportunity! And take advantage of the ability to prod things around after they're placed.

this took so damn long

( vole.wtf/styscraper/ )

Finally have to agree that Tubi is truly the streaming king. I just checked and yeah you're not watching Look Around You anywhere else online. You can't even BUY it! Tubi is a world heritage website.

there's a cadence to file structures of torrents i find really pleasing. the natural evolution of 00's closed forum culture and changing digital media standards means you get deranged, beautiful language like "Michael.Clayton.2007.1080p WEB DL - BoNe PuNiShEr Kollektiv [5 . 1][ Repak ]"

Hello from Portland Maine, where 88 of about 550 kids were absent from my youngest’s middle school yesterday, hiding from ICE.

"Make Heaven Crowded" seems like it should be the translated-too-literally title of a lesser known 60's Japanese neo-noir movie

I love tiktok so much

lotta these caller polls just ask if you're 'liberal' 'moderate' or 'conservative' or 'none of these'. I get why a lefty who doesnt care overmuch about labels would say lib

you can really tell when they're ghost written these days

the statistics about the MTA lost and found are insane. it's something like 50+% of lost items are successfully found

this is the best website on the internet. i was never able to learn the stupid fucking bunny knot so I couldn't tie my shoes until sixth grade when I googled that shit and learned ian's simple knot in... I wish it was five minutes but it was more like three hours. Still... Never an issue again.

"Suspended"

great blacks in wax is a hilarious place because it's probably the worst wax museum in the US from a technical perspective but it is also SO baltimore

why did so many millennials read so many newspaper comics? easily 60 percent of my reading diet in elementary/middle school was collected editions of calvin and hobbes, farside, dilbert, peanuts, doonesbury (!), foxtrot (?!?) and i know im not alone. historically unique phenomenon

yeah I wonder if part of this was like - this is a way you can conceptualize what your future might be like, one that is not perfect but like. you have a job in an office, you can kind of celebrate your little victories with your coworkers, etc.

I read all of the books, including the weird like management ones! why! why was I entranced by the idea of a professional world that was explicitly shitty???