Death Becomes Her superfan

This is the issue over which my father and I have the largest and longest-lasting rift.

Liberals will always lose because they’re not advancing policies that will benefit me, personally.

Narcissus (Caravaggio, 1598?), oil on canvas

Love how he holds himself out as the Good Billionaire and then the second you start asking questions he transforms into Koch Lite.

Not the worst thing here, obviously, but ‘incent’ as a shortening of incentivize is grounds alone for lifetime imprisonment.

Revealed preferences theory suggests that Wall Street executives value their ability to call their subordinates gay at approximately 8 trillion dollars

Glowing, Pulsating Hair Product Takes Control Of Gavin Newsom’s Thoughts SACRAMENTO, CA—As an otherworldly glow emanated from the California governor’s meticulously sculpted coiffure, sources confirmed Friday that the pulsating hair product on Gavin Newsom’s head had taken...

Glowing, Pulsating Hair Product Takes Control Of Gavin Newsom’s Thoughts — theonion.com/glowing-puls...

Gavin is an open book and the open book is Go Dog, Go.

Newsom’s not an idiot, he’s just thirsty for attention and doesn’t have any actual belief system so going on conservative podcasts is win-win.

I love how 80 percent of Italian foods have a marketing tagline of ‘just like nonna in the old country made it’ and an actual history of ‘some guy in the 70s had a lot of powdered mashed potatoes and boom! gnocchi.’

usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”

Venice Beach novelty retail is on another level.

But I’ve also been to a lot of terrible gallery openings where the artist has literally written like ‘FREE PALESTINE’ across a collage that could have otherwise been interesting.

First person to come to mind is Michael Chabon, who really needs to divorce his wife and come out as gay because it’s getting tiresome.

Listen partner, this towns not big enough for two idiot pieces of shit who only talk about how successful their dad was while having no discernible skills of their own

In N Out opened ~10 years ago in my hometown and literally every time I’ve been back since, someone has brought it up in casual conversation at least once.

My dad booked a flight that lands at 4:55 on a Wednesday at LAX and just asked me one of the most blindingly naive questions I’ve ever been posed.

Anthony Hopkins, fresh off an iconic Oscar-winning role in Silence of the Lambs, managed to produce one of the most laughably one-dimensional character in all of horror movie filmdom.

What I imagine happened during the rehearsals is that Coppola sat down with each actor individually and said, ‘I want you to give your laziest interpretation of your character possible. Just real dog shit’ and somehow it ended up working.

Arguably his worst performance but also my favorite Dracula movie.

Cook gave him a gaudy toy and the president handed over a tariff exemption worth millions of dollars.

I demand a presidency with higher bribery standards.

What’s striking about this whole episode isn’t that a tech corporation is bribing the executive branch (a thing that happens all the time), but just how cheaply our president can be bought off.

a giant would pick this guy up
and smoke him

There was a fabulous exhibition at the LA Museum of Art recently on the Dutch Golden Age that explicitly connected the rise of bourgeois art to the slave trade and I really appreciated the context but also I just like to look at flowers.

I was always a formalistic reader and I enjoy the way that sentences fit together and punctuation goes where it goes and I can enjoy art on that level without thinking too much about Deeper Meaning.

Yeah, I think it’s good to understand an artists’ politics to put their art in context of that politics, but it’s also fine to enjoy things from a technical standpoint, if that makes sense?

Standing athwart history suggesting a pause, maybe.

Waugh sort of reminds me of Mitt Romney — standard issue conservative at a moment when standard issue conservatism was déclassé.

The only time I’ve become so physically ill reading a book that I’ve had to put it down mid-scene was reading a Highsmith novel.