Himbotep the Mummy, PhD

Legit made a noise, holy toledo

Okay, we're at about three and a half million pages of Epstein documents now. Has anyone got a running tally of how many drag queens have been implicated thus far?
Looks like ... oh, zero. What's the tally on trans people? Oh, zero again?
Fascinating.

An image of the cast of PIGS IN SPACE (no offence intended to the Muppets)

Come on now, the Boer doesn't have time for that science stuff, he's too busy asking grok if his CSAM machine is still illegal in space.

Um my apes are still good though right?

Sorry Mr. Mayor, just one quick question: What the _absolute fuck_? Are you hoping to hire the Christian Brothers to bring back that "moral fabric"?

A two-panel meme derived from the "which button to choose meme". The first panel shows the chooser's hand hovering over a mixing board with an overwhelming amount of identical buttons. The second shows the red shirt guy mopping his brow.

Bal-Sagoth fans out there like

I read thousands of pages of Epstein files this weekend trying to understand what he wanted out of his meeting with 4chan's Christopher Poole. Here's everything we know about Epstein's plans to dismantle the internet and, eventually, democracy.
www.garbageday.email/p/here-s-how...

'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once

All exactly correct, because we are in the Hell Dimension.

I guess that's a point for everyone who's been saying "4chan is the rot in the centre of the world" for twenty years.

"Golly, this company founded by a white supremacist and named after the horrific, invasive spy apparatus used by the fallen Maia Marion - also called The Mist of Fear, The Cruel, and The Dread Abomination, and later known as Sauron - is doing bad stuff. Feeling #betrayed, fam. UmU"

* taps the sign *
bsky.app/profile/himb...

I'm sorry, do we have a sensible senator? Holy smokes do I have some crow to eat.

Oh man what a way to find out about such a tragedy. Thanks for letting me know, I missed that somehow. RIP Troy.

The cover of PROJECT GRIZZLY (1996).

This is not a joke reply, this guy rules.
www.nfb.ca/film/project...

To be fair, he asked Grok and it told him everything was fine in a delightful Jar Jar Binks accent.

A reminder to all the copy editors who choose "was fatally shot" instead of "was murdered":
You're looking for the tenth bolgia - when you get to the eighth circle, turn right at the thieves and go down three more levels.

The fact that his scrotum didn't immediately fill with bees is probably incontrovertible evidence their God doesn't exist.

This would be par for the course of this circus but for one amazing additional fact:
Burch identifies as Catholic. Loudly. It's his Whole Thing. Spinning the Pope's words to appease your fascist? Holy shit man you'd better hope they're wrong about everything that happens when you die.

Happy Big Mary Monday to those who celebrate.
We miss you, buddy.

Joyeux Big Mary Monday à tous ceux qui le célèbrent.
Tu nous manques, ami.

I don't know how to describe it, they've transcended their normal spinelessness. This is some kind of negative spine, a Spine Vortex.

A still from the BAD DUDES NES version, featuring a vaguely military guy saying: THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY SEX OFFENDERS ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE THE PRESIDENT?

In the 80s, America produced about ten million videogames and action movies whose plot was "a decaying, perverted warlord has kidnapped the president of our country", and the Americans in them were the good guys. What a time to be alive.

Well, I guess we know Maduro's name isn't in the Epstein files.

[ JG Thirlwell voice ]
Take it outside, SLOPBOY

Outlook for the new year ...

The watercooler chat between you two is going to be something.

Regular people: I miss when Twitter was a source of reliable information and genuine camaraderie.
NL Twitter: I miss the guy who always reminded me about Big Mary Monday.

No, of course not. Why would you s- oooh, oh right. From February of this year:

Starting a GoFundMe to hire Charles Martinet to dub over Mads in Hannibal.
"We must-a learn to be intimate with our instincts, Luigi. WA-HAA!"