Chris Applegate

Just called across a cafe to ask my other half to pick up some napkins while she was at the counter, and the gesture I made for them was as if I were a freakishly giant referee signalling VAR

Phenomenal thread

They have to be read, if only to experience some genuine real-world Partridge interwoven with a fanatical and seemingly unwarranted loathing of Hannah Hampton

Sir, a second Mary Earps extract has hit the timeline

That said, there was something humbling & egalitarian when everyone wore the same paper poppies with a limited lifespan. Now you can get permanent pin badges & fancy bejewelled versions, it just feels less of a communal act, even without the right-wing connotations

Sadly I think the other reason for this is that a lot poppy sellers & RBL volunteers are now either too infirm or have died of old age in the last few years - fewer places to get them from

Also I'm surprised/disappointed that no-one else involved in this - her ghostwriter, the publisher, whoever commissioned & edited it at the Guardian - went at any point "Are you sure about this? This does you no favours, especially so soon after"

I can totally understand how being dropped must have been awful for her. Sarina Wiegman made a difficult but ultimately correct decision. But Earps isn't able to process it as anything other than a personal attack on her, instead of a manager doing what's best for the team

Mary Earps extract: ‘I felt sick and anxious. Then came the words I’d waited 12 months to hear’ In an exclusive extract from her autobiography, the goalkeeper reveals the painful road to her shock England exit

The Mary Earps memoir is extraordinarily awful, or at least the extract in today's Guardian is. Appallingly self-centred and vindictive. Does her absolutely no favours, I cannot understand why she thought this was a good idea

*Rio Ferdinand voice* Legion d'honneur! Legion d'honneur! Legion d'honneur!

Probably earlier this week. Was scanning some documents with my phone camera, did one side, needed to turn the page over, so I swiped the phone screen and then got puzzled when it didn't work

Out of interest I looked up the princes who got their titles taken the other day in case they were hard done by and... er not really

Prince Andrew to lose 'prince' title and move out of Royal Lodge

Constitution nerds: doesn't this sort of thing need an Act of Parliament? Like the titles stripped from German princes in WW1?

Reddit post where someone asks how to set an old-fashioned clockwork dial on their heating

Reddit post where someone asks how to set an old-fashioned clockwork dial on their heating

Reddit post where someone asks how to set an old-fashioned clockwork dial on their heating

It's that time of year again

Credit where it's due though the foreign objects letter is the funniest Viz letter I've seen since this absolute gem

Also as an aside, to me it's amusing the letter's author has almost the same name as Arsenal's goalkeeping coach of the late 2000s and 2010s, quite possibly the man who has inflicted the most cumulative suffering on me personally in my lifetime

Screenshot of a skeet where someone says "god i hope this is real" on a photo of an obvious joke in Viz Letterbocks

Surely everyone is by now familiar with the Viz magazine house style and can spot this for what it is?

That said I have a hunch someone is using AI/CV to go through all sales listings automatically to help sift through the noise and find photos like yours quicker

I hate to break it to you mate but it's definitely 4. The internet was a mistake

When growing up with my Chinese cousins (who of course were not blood relations) the "older brother" was designated by one of the grown ups and it was whoever they thought was the most responsible child for the activity regardless of age or gender

Want to watch this in an Irish cinema so the "stick it up your bollocks" line is greeted with a big cheer like the Avengers assembling

It's increasingly obvious that Labour's strategy - call it Starmerism, Blue Labour, whatever - has got it badly wrong. It has alienated the party's core vote while failing to win over those leaning to Reform. There was no shortage of people warning them they were getting it wrong either.

When Assad got ousted out of Syria the Express went with "EXCLUSIVE: Dictator's wife's million-pound London house" and it was a pebble-dashed semi in Acton

YouTube video by ONE Media Coverage SAIPAN Trailer (2025) Steve Coogan

Anyway I hope Coogan's learned his lesson and isn't making any more films about subjects with contentious narratives... oh

The funny thing about this saga is that she was already famous, found the body and got him a state funeral and herself an MBE. Absolutely didn't need to make a libellous film to say "needless to say, I got the last laugh", but did it anyway, which ironically was a very Alan Partridge thing to do

600 quid for 3 chairs? I think I paid 299 for my last office chair and I was worried I had massively underpaid and was getting a cheap piece of crap

One of the worst changes Britain last twenty years has been the ever-growing miserliness of our national character, the moneysavingexpertisation of an entire nation which is now convinced you can scrimp and save yourself to success

Editor: You get those photos of Chris Tarrant and Cookie Monster?
Photographer: Sure did boss, real fuckin respectful just like you asked

Anyway, it's certainly a turnaround. Right-wing bigots for years have been insisting they are definitely not racist, don't even see race, don't care if people are black/brown/blue. But now it's wall-to-wall, mask-off, absolutely unhinged racism, in a relatively short space of time

Think one of the key things why adverts are such a thing with them is that people in ads are usually enjoying themselves and having a nice life; seeing non-white people be happy is something that drives your typical racist absolutely mad