Bascule the Rascule

I'm an English teacher. My perspective is that all of Shakespeare's comedies are appalling, sub Benny Hill shit and they're all the same. His tragedies are great. Furthermore, people who laugh at the "jokes" at theatres are possibly even worse than "Live, Laugh, Love" dullards.

I drive a Skoda. A £50k Skoda, who saw that coming? Brilliant, but anonymous AF. All the Audis and Beemers see me as prey on the motorway. I let them crack on, life's too short. Weekend car is a TVR. Prey turns predator.

I know it's not within the hundred most awful things here, but... the nearest penguins to Greenland are in the Galapagos, five thousand fucking miles away

Some of the words that have made me smile this year.

Which words have given you happiness this year? I’d love to hear them.

(And if you fancy some distraction over the holidays, do give my word game Two Words a try.

twowords2.page.link/play)

Announcing SEX TIPS BOT, a new stupid bot by Rob Manuel that generates sex tips, without using AI, just good old fashioned writing templates with silly words in them. FOLLOW NOW. LAUNCHING SOON.

Follow @sextipsbot.bsky.social

Attagirl.

@thecatreviewer.bsky.social A wiggly barrel of a cat living their best life on top of this warm electrics cabinet. Enjoyed the Twiglet my child offered it. 10/10

You know very well I is not, you naughty person 🥰

Other half here. Am somewhat triggered. WHY THE FUCK AM I WEIRD FOR JUST BEING ABLE TO READ STUFF

Sunday night. Mebbe a lil bit pissed. Bought a bunch of bodysuits, some v sassy. Will be surviving on storecupboard and freezer for the rest of the month..

Worth it

Got some beef cheeks in the fridge for dinner. Herself has modified The Wonder Stuff's 'Welcome to the cheap seats' to 'Welcome to the beef cheeks' and it has obliterated my brain for the last 48 hours. Still, there's a lyric of a chap wearing a dress, and I'm totally on board with that.

You guys wanna see a dead body?

We often read the same books, but never at the same time. I'm a fast reader (I think), but my missus reads at least twice as fast as I do.

Wednesday is saved.

TO THE ATTENTION OF THE MAGPIE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW:

Dear sir,

As a bird, it must be hilarious to make a dog lose his mind every day, at the same time, with nothing more than your beak.

However, some of us live *inside* the house with him.

Sincerely,

The lady who provides you roasted nuts

Queen

Red Arrows spelling a rude word in the sky

It's incredible how close the Red Arrows fly together, must take nerves of steel

one for sorrow
two for joy
three for a girl
four for a boy
five for silver
six for actually that's a lot of magpies
seven for oh no they are massing
eight for oh my god they're going to attack
nine for run, run away now
ten for magpies Magpies MAGPIES

Monday

"That's me, that is."

Just (humanely) chucked a sodding massive spider out of the bathroom. Second night in a row. We might have a homing spider. Which pleases my other half no end...

Take it from someone who has an actual stoma - this never happened.

A cat on a footpath, it is black except for white paws and a thin white stripe down it's nose. The photo doesn't capture this cat's desire for attention, there was much flopping over and rolling around in the dust.

While away we encountered this fine tuxedo cat just outside Zandvoort station. Emerged from the long grass mewing for fusses then followed us all the way up the footpath. +10 for welcoming travellers, -5 for getting a bit stalky, still an overall score of 25/10. @thecatreviewer.bsky.social

A tuxedo cat sitting on some bookshelves, which have been built outside someone's house.

Gorgeous cat with her own book nook. Very attentive with varied selection of reading materials. 12/10 @thecatreviewer.bsky.social

Thank you for your posts, you strike me as an excellent human being.

Never traded slaves either, but plenty of narcotics. Had my arse shot off by the rozzers so many times cos of that, but great fun. True fact - sharted during one game, went off, cleaned up and yet was surprised and offended when other players complained about the stench surrounding me.

The moment my date explained her t-shirt was based around 2000AD, I knew she was The One. We're 2 years in

Meet and talk to people with an Ostomy MeetAnOstoMate is a vibrant multi-topic community, where people have fun, discuss various things, laugh together, cry together, and give each other plenty of love and support.

Have a look at MeetanOstomate.com. Life with an ostomy is different, but in no way worse. I thought my life was at an end when I woke up to that, but I can honestly say that I'm happier

Meet and talk to people with an Ostomy MeetAnOstoMate is a vibrant multi-topic community, where people have fun, discuss various things, laugh together, cry together, and give each other plenty of love and support.

Trust me, it's absolutely fine. There's a really close community of fellow sufferers, and there are lots of people you can talk to who can give you help and support. You're not on your own. now than I've ever been.