Jonathan Jacobs

1st accident: everybody gets one

2nd accident: fool me once!

3rd accident: okay, we should probably keep an eye on this.

4th: this was the other driver’s fault, she’s doing better!

5th: honestly, she can’t have any more.

6th: okay, our bad. This one’s on us. We’re taking the keys.

The entire concept of billionaires is immoral. There is nothing more morally abhorrent than hoarding massive amounts of the world’s wealth for your own personal pleasure and profit.

What is morally wrong is the existence of billionaires.

Oh yes

This is where I stand on the usefulness of empathy.

Empathy can be useful, but if you have to understand what someone is experiencing/feeling before you act in solidarity with them, your solidarity is going to be limited by your own personal experiences.

If you only provide Keurig coffee at work you should not be implementing a return to office policy.

Just finishing this up, really enjoying it!

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/aug/14/the-travelers-by-regina-porter-review

Jar of Kirkland brand chocolate covered raisins

Sex is great, but have you ever had Kirkland brand chocolate covered raisins?

The #HowIMetYourMother writing staff went in on a coffee truck for our picketers at the Fox lot today. And they challenged the #ModernFamily writers to do the same next week.

On a picket line coffee truck. Solidarity slaps

Whenever I use the gym in my mom’s community in Florida someone inevitably has FOX News or FOX Business News on, so I always put MSNBC on the other TV to create some karmic balance.

I’m really thankful to George Santos for inventing BlueSky.

if you can't handle me at my worst (all the time) you don't deserve me at my best (mythical condition I have never been in)

It’s gotta be key lime

Ness Announces the First Premium Health and Wellness Credit Card with Partner sweetgreen and Other Top Brands Ness, the next great credit card company putting health first, today announced the public beta launch of the Ness Card issued by The Bank of Missouri

The Ness Credit Card feels like the ultimate manifestation of the logic that credit card rewards are meant to benefit a small elite and not a mass public audience, and the ultimate commercialization/capitalization of health and wellness.

Am I missing something?

If you’re a traveler, the Flighty app is an absolute must.

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/flighty-live-flight-tracker/id1358823008

May your career be in a place where this is how you respond when asked if you want to be CEO of Twitter. 🙏🏾

Mom: How’s the cookie mom?

Grandma: oh it’s awful.

Mom: …then why are you eating it?

Grandma: chocolate.

I stan my queen

You do not love to see it

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss 🙄

“It has all the advantages of hell without the inconveniences.”

The first sentence of this ad…is it about Death Valley or Twitter?

Hurts because it’s accurate

Giving It All Up For The Davos Elite A recent article in Scientific American says the quiet part out loud: a decline in population will make ours a better world. But they don’t say who’s behind it.

“Our world is run by a bunch of greedy, thoughtless wealthy elites who don’t see us as human, who don’t give the slightest fuck about us. The politicians are just puppets they manipulate.” https://pandemicenclave.org/giving-it-all-up-for-the-davos-elite/

Ladies and gentleman, her.

Clouds

My alias

So what’s the most viral post on this app so far? This one?

Photo of Prince playing guitar. He is wearing a pink feather boa.

Way too much pressure to figure out what my first post on here should be so I’m just gonna share a photo of Prince, because you can never go wrong doing that.