all discourse aside, there is one machine with consciousness. it's printers. they are alive and conscious and they hate you and they'd take your arm clean off if you let them. never trust a printer.

The Ig Nobel is incredible , one year an Indian guy won it for calculating the average surface area of an elephant and during his acceptance they had an elephant hold up a sign with the surface area of the scientist on it, they do showbiz better than the Oscars

Screen cap of parodic version of William Blake's "The Tyger" that begins: Tyger! Tyger! Burning bright (Not sure if I spelled that right) What immortal hand or eye Could fashion such a stripy guy? What the hammer that hath hewn it Into such a chonky unit? Did who made the lamb make thee, Or an external franchisee?

In honor of National Poetry Day, the greatest parody rewrite of all time:

A life magnificently lived.

Comic. PERSON 1 to person with white hat: I finished all the gen-ed back in 2010, and I’m up to the 400-level courses in most departments. But now one of my advisors is saying I “can’t have more than 20 majors” and “need to graduate next year.” It’s outrageous! [caption] My university is making it really hard to finish a 100% all achievements speedrun.

100% All Achievements

xkcd.com/3148/

sound on

I have taken
the Tylenol
that was in
the medicine cabinet

and which
they think probably
is the reason
you like trains

forgive me
but that’s bullshit
you got autism
from your dad

this may brighten your day tbh

Update: Civil War cancelled due to shooter being demographically uncooperative

behold: a woman

I’m so excited! Looking forward to devouring!

A simple flowchart illustrating how to identify if you are being a dick, and the actions to take so that you can be awesome.

Happy Don't Be A Dick Day, to all who celebrate.

dontbeadickday.com

Mother earth is wearing thigh high fishnets with a ridiculously rotund ass, cheeks out and shiny (why are they shiny??) and she's looking back at it with big red lips and brown eyes with a cat eye makeup look. The text says MILFS for Mother Earth

I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop myself. There was nothing I could do. The monster took hold of my soul and I... I couldn't stop her.

It's. It's a sticker now. By God what have I done.

mackmonsters.bigcartel.com

Kinda looks cheeky

La Rata Alada

Halloween Weasel

Ok this one is creepy

Bats/Murciélagos en masse, kinda cranky or butterfly-y #medievalsky #medievalart #medievalbestiary #bat #murcielago #animalia #bestiary #bestiario

I like my men like I like my Gouda

Close up on an ancient plate featuring a light pink octopus with bright eyes and a smile. The octopus has two arms waving above its head in a friendly manner.

hi

In 2019, with the help of Egyptologist Serena Love and Microbiologist Rich Bowman, I went to Boston’s MFA and Harvard’s Peabody museum to attempt collecting 4,500 year old yeast from Ancient Egyptian pottery. In this thread, I baked with some of it.

(this is an old thread moved here for safety!)

My grandfather was born in a McDonalds

Updatid my Bucket List:

• Woodene bucket (oak)
• Woodene bucket (maple)
• Woodene bucket (pine)
• Bucket wyth floral décor
• Bucket yn shape of duck
• Extremelye fragile bucket wyth gems
• Large bucket wyth yron hoopes
• Mysterye bucket somebodye left at the house - TODD?

Girls in your area

Girls in proximity to your location

Girls approaching your coordinates

Girls have breached the perimeter

Girls inside the containment zone, repeat, girls inside the

Last night at Moth Night, we saw a lot more than moths. The highlight was happening upon this beaver absolutely chowing down on some wood, corn on the cob style. You’re gonna want to put your sound on for this one.

This is Mariner. He was born completely deaf, which means he gets to enjoy fireworks with all the sparkle and none of the boom. 13/10

EAT THE JURASSIC SCONE

"I asked ChatGPT" "I asked Grok" ok well I asked Gandalf and he said he has not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm

So like ICE (official) is like the gestapo, as in a sanctioned arm of the state to terrorize minorities, but ICE (unofficial) is like the Klan, masked vigilantes carrying out lynchings, which seems to be the obvious goal and I don't know why more people aren't saying that.

BREAKING: A federal judge reversed National Institutes of Health's terminations of hundreds of critical research grants that were canceled because of their alleged connection to disfavored topics, including diversity, equity, inclusion, and gender identity.

This is a major win for public health.

Maybe they ran out and That’s the Problem

4 new words added to the script. I want my lawyer. Every day is shut the fuck up Friday