🗣️ shut up denver 🗣️

someone liked a post i made and i remembered this app exists

google how to make $35 in 1 minute or less

do assholes fluctuate in size depending on the person or is it one hole fits all?

attracted to men because women are way out of my league.

white boys of the month who age into hollywood zaddy status…what is it like being god’s favorite? (i’m looking at you, matt damon)

i don’t know how the fuck any of this works i’m just pressing buttons and waiting for one of them to do something

i’m not here for information i’m here to shitpost.

do you think margaritaville on repeat is a good sex playlist?

i wish straight people didn’t ruin father figure by george michael with that awful movie

we had a hard day of being adorable and annoying

da boiz

real question who is dating the “hey mamas” lesbians? come here i wanna hold your hand and talk about something.

guys for the record i am not actually smoking 4 year old weed i dont even smoke like that im a pussy

i don’t belong here but i also don’t belong anywhere else sooooo.

and cake!

update we are 17 months into being on T and all i’ve gotten is a traumatic breakup.

man FUCK bobby flay

regular monster tastes like radioactive piss but i’ll be dead before you catch me with a white monster

yall wanna see a motherfucker shit post again say heyyy

great time to bring this back up.

a screenshot from the doordash app. the description reads “6 piece mcnuggets” but the accompanying photo is a plate of sushi rolls

hello???

“if i was a responsible adult i’d drink too, but im not”

thinking about the time i drank too much cold brew and had an anxiety attack and started crying because i loved women so much

living in a man’s brain is kind of the worst. how is it possibly to be horny literally *all the time*

the love of my life could be on bsky but i’d never know because im never here

i got you, babes.

elvis costello now could probably kick woody allen in his prime’s ass. fuck that guy anyway. 😤

it's boypussy Thursday, are you boypussying? with two shots of vin diesel one in sunglasses in the background and one in the foreground wearing a cross on a necklace

happy thursday.

i would post more on bsky but my fangirl ferality can’t be contained over here

sorry bsky, i’ll be back when i am able to be stoned and funny again