Randy

And then it would happen two dozen more times before an article comes out on CNN with the headline “Three Dead After Humanoid Drink Pitcher Tramples Entire Family”, describing how previous incidents had gone without investigation.

You better believe if an anthropomorphic pitcher of sugary kid’s drink burst through your living room wall, the police would show up 30 minutes later to take a statement and file it away without taking a single action.

“I crushed my genitals in The Genital Crushing Machine™ and now my genitals are crushed! How could this happen!”

This is what y’all sound like when you complain about how the internet makes you feel.

My experience with Taco Bell has been largely positive.

“I asked ChatGPT…”
Oh well I threw my laptop into the river and now I’m eating too much Wendy’s and will complain about my stomach the rest of the week.

WE MUST FEED THE WORM.

Do we allow a handful of billionaire technocrats to put us all out of work so their apps can decide who lives and who dies? Or do we instead food, house, clothe, and provide medical care for everyone? Truly the Kobayashi Maru of our time.

No gods no masters.

Wawa answers the question, "What if hospital food was available at gas stations?"

What if we just... didn't?

Eggs amirite

So much of the things that have been stressful about owning a business came from abiding by how things are "supposed to be", rather than just following how I thought they should be.

Every day I think about how to make my business *smaller*. How can I cut more out of this and make it more manageable, more fun, more interesting.

Silver beaded moon surrounded by embroidered owl, six wands with an arrow going through them, an embroidered pansy, and a red stitched heart

Hello! I am here to share art 🌝 •••••••••••••••••••••••••
#embroidery #beading #tarot

You *should* regret those things.

Is it a group chat if it’s just the two of us rewriting decades-old top 40 hits with questionable lyrics?

Some issues transcend the news cycle.

What’s next? Unsexy the Teletubbies? I will not be strong armed by the woke left. And my browser history reflects that.

When I say "I do not wish to be perceived" what I mean is "I do not want to appear in LinkedIn search results."

It’s actually kind of a waking nightmare.

Semantic theory teaches us that meaning is contextual and fluid. Therefore no, I do not have to explain why I think Snake would be a bottom to Wario.

Sometimes the horrors of existence creep into my brain. But then I remember that we also live in a world where there are pickles. So ya know. Scales of justice et cetera.

Clear broth is itself a death sentence.

When I’m diagnosed with a terminal disease I want them to give me soup when they tell me.

I want to stare at shadows on a cave wall.

Realistically my replicator order would be:
One tub of hummus. A sleeve of water crackers. 2 tums and 2 ibuprofen. Cancel my morning alarm.

Me on the NCC-1701-D: Soup. Extra wet. Uh. The big bowl.

Person: Hey man you wanna eat 6 boiled eggs in a row?
Me: Yes.
Person: We'll mix the... oh... al...alright then...

I don't go on the world wide web to have my beliefs challenged. I come here to read the news, learn about tech stuff, find new music, and look at pictures of cute animals. If I need to have my worldview challenged, I'll go to my doctor and explain how many eggs I eat in a week and why that's fine.

Eating six eggs in one sitting is resistance. It is praxis.