jess

ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty]
OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry
ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food]
OSIRIS: you already ate
ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad]
OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good

Un lapin libère un lion tout triste. Après un moment de joie, le lion bouffe le lapin.

Les "militants de gauche" qui défendent les fafs :

This is what you say when it’s obvious that something is real and there’s productivity coming out of it

"What did they say about you?" I asked. He snapped out of it. "Oh, not me" he answered. "I meant Donald Trump."

full déréalisation during mr cellophane

New career path: Telling everyone that I use generative AI for everything (and then just half-assing it with my own brain) so people I don’t respect throw piles of money at me and are cool with the final product being bad.

a woman is laying down with her eyes closed and her reflection is visible ALT: a woman is laying down with her eyes closed and her reflection is visible

this shit is so deeply drilled into my brain I can't even read anybody else's posts

bar I'm at is playing chicago (2002) soundtrack front to back and tbh if I leave here alive I'll have failed myself, roxie, AND velma 😭

am i full of regrets from wasting my one precious life (the end of which is approaching by the day, faster and faster and faster) or did i go to bed a little later than usual and it's cloudy outside. impossible to say. probably the first thing

mid-thirties afroman would be like
🎶 i was gonna go get food
but then i sat down
i was gonna put on shoes
but then i sat down

Meme work a guy reading a historical marker. The copy says: Plaquemaxxing is when you stop to read every plaque you come across in a new city.

Multiple members of my family have sent me this meme, for some reason.

I’m just going to say what we are all thinking: demolishing an old building and unleashing all the angry spirits that dwelled within is a reckless move this close to Halloween

Defiant or not, he’s still going to jail – which is what should happen to elected officials when they do crimes

The White White East Wing has a big gaping hole.

the year is 2030. the white house remains half demolished because president trump refused to pay construction workers and musk gutted government spending. two thieves sneak into the white house using a truck mounted ladder and steal the constitution

this should be front page on every newspaper. you can't dream up an analogy stronger than this one.

LLMs are the future us-east-1 of the mind

lol just got an insurance sales call from the US and the guy signed off saying "congratulations on being in a different country" 💀😭

haven't done real grocery shopping in probably a month and it's really starting to take a toll 🫠

Headline reads, in French, 'I will visit Sarkozy in prison', says Justice Minister Gérald Darmanin

Headline reads, in French, Louvre burglary: 'we have failed and given a deplorable image of France', says Justice Minister Gérald Darmanin

Well I agree that one of these things gives a deplorable image of France . . .

it has reached "I simply will not get out of bed" temperature chez moi. oh, it's 1pm? I have a massive to-do list, am super hungry, and also really need to pee? bummer. just can't do it.

my favourite thing to tell people who ask me how [current project im working on] is going is "it's not". its not going. its none of your business. if i have something to share i'll do so at my convenience. leave me alone

Big weekend for heist nerds.

i'm sorry you were asked to be considerate of others and that was such a vile disgusting impossible proposition that we now i guess have to do incomprehensible human atrocities that you will also deny

I have stolen
the jewels
that were in
the museumcase

and which
you were probably
saving
for visitors

forgive me
they were expensive
so shiny
and so old

amazing. you've always been good at pulling shit off !! I'm excited to see them

engagement photo shoot two weeks before the wedding? living on the edge here, friend lol

Hersheys imply the existence of themtheys

"vibe coding" really is the worst development in software of all time. "woah what if you could just tell the computer what to do and then it did that" that's called writing code. code is the language that tells the computer what to do.

number one thing I miss about living in philly 🥹😭