David is a Downer

They’re playing “Something in the Way” at 9am in a Starbucks and I’m worried depression has become too normalized

Also, if we’re gonna go full dash we really gotta work on our goosestepping this is lame and will get us laughed out of North Korea.

I mean yeah otherwise Tim Cook would sue me

The episode when Schmidt pretends to be a Romney to get into a club.

This AI would try to interface with the customer service AIs from each place and suddenly the five year olds birthday would be at a bowling alley in London five months from now

[Godzilla let them fight meme]

New pope just dropped

Plane of the Apes

Bat Man

Dems need to stop running anyone with the stench of lost elections if they want any chance. It’s a husk of a party and they need new people who will actually win. Even then it remains to be seen if they can actually use power for anything useful

The real Kennedy curse is how many of them are still alive apparently

financial advice in a weird time:

-- develop a plan
-- find friends who support you
-- preferably 10 of them
-- steal $160 million from the Bellagio, the Mirage, and the MGM Grand
-- yes those are Terry Benedict's casinos
-- get your wife back
-- one of the friends should be Don Cheadle btw

simple

Today the president wrote in his journal that it would be nice if we could do voter suppression and we are now sharing it with you

Was he wearing the hot dog costume at the time?

They’re playing Chappell Roan instead of Creedence when they bomb your village?

A limited liability porporation?

And in spite of my numerous appeals he has yet to get a job or a car so I don’t know what he’s expecting

I get similar meltdowns over waffles whenever I forget to restock at the store

Take egg wasn’t enough. What next? Trump annex Sudetenland?

Why yes I would love to go see a play and no other legally actionable thing

“Ask not what your country can do for you, but if you can give your HHS secretary a lozenge.”

They can’t afford Cspan

What doesn’t kill you
Kills a rainforest

I want to know I’ve got the job before I give my best ideas

Funny, last time they tried to knock a piece off the pentagon everybody got REAL bent out of shape about it

And while he’s still in his prime. Tortoises live to be like 150 years old

From KMUW Wichita, over an image of a cute wittle raccoon: It’s illegal to own a pet raccoon in Kansas. One man is trying to change that.

Dear media,
Please do not waste time hyperventilating about this dumb comment.
It’s intending to be a distraction from all of the damaging actions he’s taking.
Focus on those.

Thorfinn from Vinland Saga
Luffy from One Piece
Frieren from F:BJE
Ed/Al from FMA
Really most manga protags that aren’t Shmeren Shmeagar

Who are the customers!? WHAT IS THE PRODUCT!!?? WHY WILL NO ONE TAKE 1.3 SECONDS TO THINK THROUGH THIS MORONIC ANALOGY????

So how many days until some communications intern named Tymbyrlee announces that Zillow is taking over the dept of Housing and Urban Development?