Haunt Chelle

Just once I'd like to have a president with cognitive incline

Matthew 15:29-31: And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them after verifying their citizenship status.

a man wearing a shirt that says ' schitt 's creek ' on it is walking in a diner Alt: Bob from schitts creek shuffling into the diner with his goody grin

When I shuffle in like this I’m bout to raid your kitchen and eat all of your snacks

you don't need to post homophobic ai videos of Mike Johnson. he's fully, publicly admitted to sharing an app with his own child to send one another porn alerts. it's perfectly ok to keep the gays out of his whole deal, he's a creepy straight pervert

People make fun of the music from the 90s but we had such profound lyrics as:
Come on ride the train
And ride it
Come on ride the train
It's the choo choo train
(repeat 34 times)

We live in increasingly unfergalicious times

Caught my silhouette in a reflection today and it was humbling how so suddenly you’re just “middle aged shape”

A fuzzy white kitten rests its front paws on an arm holding a pen hovering over a list.

“Tuna?”
“Yes.”
“Catnip?”
“On the list.”
“What about-“
“Relax Alvin, I got this.”

Josie and Magic, a tabby cat and a black cat, peer into the sliding glass window over the kitchen sink from the screened in patio.

We are not prepared for the zombie apocalypse.
#caturday

The stuff I post isn’t factual like Gravity or The Earth Is Round are “factual”.
They’re factual like the Violent Left and the Tooth Fairy are “factual”.

Oh, the night is young? The night is ancient, dark, and merciless, but sure order another round, Tyler

Rose Lavelle scores in such a Rose Lavelle way 🔥

Jaedyn Shaw tees up a perfect ball for Rose to score this goal!

Like this post if you love a Rose Lavelle goal!

Someday you'll grow up and out of being reposted by us and just be 're-something elsed' by your peers. And you might also compare us to their reposters and realize we were kinda weird. Sorry for that, it all happened so two wolves, us flirting

Put me in a room with someone and I'm like..quiet with the breathing.

Neither shitposter nor hitposter but a secret absurd thing (fortune pierogi)

eating mashed potatoes with butter, heavy cream, fresh mozzarella, olive oil and balsamic vinegar because I've been lifting (the weight of my mother's expectations)

Today in 'What if?": What if King Henry II of England was a gynecologist.

Patient: Doctor I can't seem to shake this infection.

Henry II: Will nothing rid you of this meddlesome yeast?

Magic, a black cat, and Josie, a tabby cat, pier up from a bathtub, half hidden by a shower curtain

A big similarity between cats and psychopaths is when you catch them doing a crime, they're like
#caturday

A woman in a 1930s aviator outfit amiably discusses something with another in a future military jumpsuit. In the background a spaceship is parked.

They're gonna open the Amelia Earhart files and all that'll be inside is this inexplicable photograph:

Black cat on bed with bright yellow-green eyes created by a camera flash. Staring at me in bed (out of frame).

Magic is ready to do crimes. #caturday

Enflame the base with calls for freedom and link it to their religion. Added bonus of having fewer laborers competing for jobs who will have to take what they can get.

Ah yes, the famously successful and not-a-massive-quagmire Vietnam War that America swiftly and gloriously won and in no way lost. Excellent film reference, sir.

The average Republican: We want to hurt trans people & bc of that trans people keep expressing anger toward us

The average Democrat: That's bad

The average trans person: WHICH PART IS THE BAD PART

The average democrat voter: You're being annoying, so annoying that I want to punch u in the face

I’m having trouble getting past the grammar and fascism.

Dropbox is like every guy I had a crush on in college. The only time I ever hear from them is when I randomly get an email saying I need more space

a gen z’er at work just said “who is hulk hogan? was he famous in the 1900’s?” so i reported her to HR

do you ever feel. like a plastic bag. drifting through the wind. then getting stuck in a wind turbine and accidentally starting a fire that becomes a conspiracy theory about fires at wind farms and ultimately leads towns and counties across america to ban renewable energy

It's a tragically unjust world where Theo Huxtable dies before Cliff.

RIP Malcom-Jamal Warner