floods on wednesday, earthquake on friday, eclipse on monday... can we reschedule the locusts or are they already en route?
05.04.2024 15:35 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
i cannot believe we have to do another day this week!
11.01.2024 21:16 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I forgot about the Santa Clause Elf's hair!!!
12.12.2023 23:03 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Going home for the holidays is like on Star Trek when they travel to a new planet and impart advanced knowledge like the phrase "nepo babies"
29.11.2023 01:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
It's important for all our soldiers to know the epic highs and lows of (college) football
21.10.2023 20:02 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
got an A in therapy today (my therapist told me I was a tough act to follow)
12.10.2023 20:25 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
wait, the storm is named OPHELIA????
29.09.2023 22:43 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
"I can do hard things" I repeat to myself as I head off to do my job
29.09.2023 12:34 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
yeah, i am something of a bad boy. I always get diet coke in the complimentary water cups
14.09.2023 17:17 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
went for a very short walk at lunch and now I don't want to return to my enclosure
23.08.2023 17:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
"college in Ohio" is an East Coast euphemism for Oberlin
21.08.2023 14:23 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Author. Opinions=own. She/Her.
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