Bee ◡̈

getting kicked out of mensa because i fucking farted and the fart has all my IQ

she didn’t predict neil gaiman tho. her face when i told her about that one was like she just watched me put a gun to my head

by god she’s got like 5 more since this post. her vibe-ometer is off the charts. lmk if you see me still following someone who has been outed as literal garbage, i likely just missed any posts about it 😵‍💫

no matter how chronically offline i claim i am nothing will stop me from consistently posting shit in my instagram story that permanently alters my online footprint but now i think ill do that here too

it’s all about the angle of the dongle when you jangle the dangle 🙏

bee sitting at a dinner table with a 25 birthday sign

bee drinking a green drink

a green drink with a crocodile on top

weirdly angled photo of tipsy bee holding a plastic crocodile

i came to post my monthly bluesky post which was gonna be an unfunny joke about leonardo dicaprio breaking up with me and to tell u that outback has a cocktail with midori that is full of glitter and has a crocodile u can keep but i see we also have DMs now so that’s cool

this post is a tourism campaign for the midwest

i think the popeyes commercial tagline “crispy. saucy. available now.” would be a killer dating profile bio

i don’t remember posting this i think it was trazodone induced but i stand by it

i’m alive im just in that mid-20s recluse stage of do nothing on social media besides putting my dog and food im cooking on my instagram story

i always put on my hoodies with the panic of a diver trapped under the ice

ur bangs are always sitting flawlessly.. u r too powerful!!!

like 7 minutes at half power i think would really do it

when u get ur blood drawn at the lab they should kiss u on the lips after

bee in a car seat that’s reclined too far back, wearing white headphones and a red plaid dress. the imagine is slightly blurry.

bee in a mirror selfie that shows them from the chest up holding a phone in a wavy case with a bunny on it. there are clothes hanging in the back.

bee in a phone mirror selfie that shows them from the hip up and the mirror is very messy. they are fat and wearing a black dress with bell sleeves. there are still clothes in the back. also they want u to notice their french tip fake nails

bee sitting in a car with white headphones on. a tweet has been edited into the corner that says “i don’t have rizz i have big doll eyes and many unsettling things to say”

absence update hair is still orange and i still have a generally distressing aura about me in case u were wondering

hi lilly! 🐛💖

what’s happening on here hi guys all i ever do on my phone anymore is post instagram stories, check discord look at tiktoks , and solve crosswords yet my screen time is higher than ever how are we doing

officer down meme shoddily edited to say war criminal down

posting for the first time in 20 days to celebrate

small fluffy white kitten next to a toy carousel. text says “i don’t have that dog in me i have a tiny little kitty cat kitymeowww mreewww :3 mreeepp meowww meeeeww :3 meow”

i leave for a week and come back to 20 sex bots what happened

small disposable kids cup with a lid that says Islands fine burgers & drinks next to a larger teal water cup

this 🤏small 👶 CHILDRENS disposable ♻️CUP ☕ from 👉 a SOUTHERN 🍔CALIFORNIA restaurant 🍞🧑‍🍳CHAIN ⛓ with very affordable 🤑💰CHICKEN TENDERS 🍗and a TROPICAL 🏝️theme contains PEACH 🍑 WALMART brand fizzy WATER mixed with a splash of FRUIT🍒 punch 🥊 GATORADE 🍹you WISH 🌠 you were ME!!! 🫵✨

i get withdrawal if i go one day without listening to Linger

the MyShake test going off 7 hours too early is actually very funny because it was not a robotic voice or an alarm it was simply a regular ass man’s voice bouncing off the walls of my bedroom at 3:19 in the morning

you say roast beef flaps as if it’s an insult… baby i’m from chicago pass me the au jus

kraft easy mac cups taste better than making the boxed kind and i don’t know why. is it the forever chemicals that give it that je ne sais quoi??

it’s a friday night and i’m spending it watching a 2 and a half hour youtube video where someone ranked all the 720+ performances in Glee

the only consistent thing about me is the poop that comes 45 minutes after taking an adderall xr

a pug with a little bit of chihuahua and shar pei in her is sitting on a lap covered in a blanket and she’s looking sweetly to the left at someone off camera. there’s a signed family guy coffee table book looming ominously in the background but it’s not mine i swear

did i miss anything?
here’s my dog