Emma Jay 🏳️‍⚧️

Apparently we had a lot of trick-or-treaters this year. That makes me happy. There were years pre-2020 when no kids came and it felt like a dying tradition.

Really not doing okay.

THIS IS THE EMPLOYMENT JELLY Drawing of a slime with a briefcase and pencil REBLOG WHENEVER THE HELL YOU LIKE AND YOU'LL GET A JOB THAT YOU LOVE AND DESERVE.

🕯️Manifesting 🕯️

Should be wearing a Greinke jersey as a show of solidarity between guys who got a 9-figure deal in LA after abandoning the Royals

A photo of Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins and Ian Holm as Bilbo Baggins from Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

'The "uncle" who Frodo said got rich by adventuring with Dwarves is actually a distant cousin, he clarified on Monday.' - Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, The Shire Post

6 maga losers

Just in: Zohran Mamdani caught calling someone "bro", but our investigation has unearthed the truth. This person was not, in fact, his biological brother. Why did he lie? Tune in tonight at 10 for this and more breaking news.

I like how Zohran Mamdani scandals are like "He called his old cousin his aunt one time" and Andrew Cuomo scandals are like "He sexually assaulted 13 women."

Can't be reelected if there's no more elections

Genuinely what the fuck is going on in Albania

As a woman who didn’t write a Werewolf: The Apocalypse thing, they’re more like guidelines anyways. There’s no canon police that will arrest you for changing the holy scripture.

Sideburns Simpsons GIF Alt: Mr Burns yelling at Don Mattingly to shave his sideburns off, seemingly not knowing what they are. Mattingly, out of frustration, has shaved half his head.

I told you to get rid of those sideburns!

a trans girl in vermont was kicked off her swimming team and committed suicide and at the very same time, the discourse in d.c. today is about whether the democratic party should’ve abandoned her sooner in order to win votes

a day in an american life

Yes, Harris alienated voters by *checks notes* not talking about transgender rights during the campaign, promising to be tough on immigration, siding with Israel as they commit a genocide, and by bringing out Republicans to endorse her. People didn’t want a centrist cop. They wanted a progressive.

Freddie*

mattingly for the last time get rid of those sideburns! ALT: mattingly for the last time get rid of those sideburns!

They’re nazis but instead of having an ideal race that they envision, it turns out that they’re Mr Burns from the baseball episode of the Simpsons.

Freddy!!!!!

Alas

cackled at this on the broadcast

the dodgers me
and jays

🤝

haven’t scored in a while

God, I don’t ask you for much. Mostly because you’re a fucking bastard. But could you take a break from giving kids cancer and letting pedophiles become the most powerful people in the world to let this game end?

Again

Ohtani will never bat again

It continues

This game is like I got caught smoking a baseball and now I have to smoke a whole pack of baseball

This video from Portland is a metaphor for what is going on in America. ICE trying so hard to get Americans to cross a line and if they don't, dragging them across the line and violently attacking.

I got "groceries"!

Isn't that the thinking that gave you Starmer and far-right Labour?