Cog

Guess orange really is the new black 📉

Just learned Joe Rogan is around 5’7 and that explains to much

Zelensky wasn’t wearing a suit but he stood on business

One thing that sucks about working in corporate is that I can’t just dye my hair random colors on a whim anymore

Young drake has the same vibe as clam chowder

Always thought a Nigerian prince might steal my socials, but instead it’s Grimes baby daddy

These breaking news have indeed broke me

That last part is so simply put yet so specific that I can picture it perfectly

Trump has more felony charges than Bernie Madoff and Al Capone combined

Dr Phil be doing everything except being an actual doctor

Apparently there are fanfics of Trump and Elon Musk on Wattpad

Doom scrolling is great right now because The Doom is always fresh. It used to be The Doom would get stale after a day or 2 but now the horrors are unending 😊

You gotta warn the bowl of Rice Krispies first, they can get overwhelmed when waterboarded

Maybe you need to be louder. It helps if you extend and flap your arms like a pterodactyl to reach your full potential

But chocolate is good for the mental health 💪

The rapist who just got confirmed as our defense sec looks like he’s got a small dick

Don’t forget cats… books, music, and cats

FAANG’s out. MAGA’s in.

Meta Amazon Google Apple

One thing that still baffles me is that the orange orangutan is not even hot or remotely good looking

I’ve consumed so much news in the past week that I’m about to go eat-a-banana-horizontally mental

If the writer thought the gesture was innocent, then they should do it in a public setting in front of all their friends and family and see how innocent it really is

The orange orangutan is making me cry again at 12am

The fine line between us and other fascist countries is beginning to blur

Don’t forget to wave your cane aggressively

In a few hours, a rapist with 34 convicted felony charges will be taking the presidential pledge to protect the most powerful country in the world

Nah there’s gotta be more than that, like a fist bump or somethin

We don’t give Post Malone enough shit for having yellow fever

That’s basically every social media app

Guess no tech CEOs got any more original ideas

to recap:
— Trump was *for* the TikTok ban
— which the GOP Congress passed
— and the GOP Supreme Court upheld
— and even though Biden said he wouldn't enforce the ban, TikTok shut down anyway
— so that Trump could "save" it
— and the media fell for it
we really do live in the dumbest fucking country