Shannon😸 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴🐧𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘵🦩𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘺𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥

*goes to bedroom to put on pj's but gets distracted by cat*

Sequoia has too many vowels in a row and it bothers me.

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

Camper van by the ocean

Wish we were here

My husband and I celebrated our 13th anniversary today. Here are my secrets to a happy and successful marriage:

• patience
• understanding
•always assume best intentions
• Once a year on the full moon slaughter a goat, rub it's blood on a tree, invoke Hera and ask for her favor
• communication

My husband: You used to be cool.

Me (offended): I was never cool.

When you're an introvert, every house with people in it is a haunted house.

*someone else walking into the meadow*

It would be weird if there was a broken piano here.

*sees piano*

Would ya look at that.

*standing in a meadow*

I wish I had a piano.

*Piano falls from the sky and crashes on the ground in front of me*

What the hell?

Idk what it says about 2025 that were all like “ooh look a heist, finally something whimsical” but it’s not good

Why the fuck am I getting ads for diapers?

Today I managed sphinx with cat spine.

Sitting on the Jetty
Next to my teddy
I'm getting ready
To eat spaghetti
Over there's a yeti
Her name is Betty
The other one is Freddy
They are going steady
Their argument is petty

#poetry

Got one of those stalking apps to keep track of my kid and found out the stalking works both ways.

Today during yoga I did down dog with cat spine. (cat jumped on my back during down dog)

Me (4'11) to my husband (6'2): It just feels like you're always looking down on me.

WTF?1?! Google just deleted all of my poems? I don't have hard copies of most of them so most of them are just gone.

Might fuck around and start a creepy porcelain doll collection. idk tho

I have a craving for chunky peanut butter; I hate chunky peanut butter

The problem with learning stuff is that there's always more stuff to learn.

My fourth grade crush showed up as a person I might know on IG. I'm a bit weirded out right now.

All I want is a couple hours every day where no one is allowed to talk to me.

For somebody who doesn't want to be buried, I sure do think about what I'd put on my gravestone a lot.

They're trying their best.

Our first line of defense against tyranny is historians, scholars, teachers, and librarians. We’ve seen an active effort to dissuade students from the humanities because those roles are threats to the powers that be. A well-read population will not easily surrender its freedoms.

Watching a pigeon gather nest material. Fascinating.

My cat and dog on my lap.

Chilling with the besties.

#catsofbluesky #Catsky #dogsofbluesky #dogsky

Celebrate #earthday by implementing one sustainable swap in your home.

We: “Happy Earth Day!”

The Earth:

My phone: You never use this app, do you want to uninstall it?

Me: OK, rude.