Mona Lisa Vito

That man spends so much time on this stupid app.

This makes me want a sausage egg and cheese on everything SO BADLY

*bang* AND IIIIIIIIII-EE-IIIIIIIIIIII will always love YOOOOOO-HOOOOO-OOOOOH-IIIII

Sootcase

Melania being like sorrz me speaky no engwish 🥺👉👈

Gonzo, I cried the whole time. True story. Idk why

The New York Post felt the need to clarify that “Vaginal felching is not a valid form of contraception, according to medical experts.” And that’s all I have to say about that.

Don’t waste my gd time with some 30% off bullshit.

Bonus: she also brought us kolaches and a bunch of stuff from HEB from her recent trip to Texas

MIL is visiting today and is bringing us takeout from our favorite Thai restaurant, which we never get because it’s out in the far suburbs

What do we do when gray matter starts leaking out of its ears?

🎶disrespect your surroundings 🎶

This woman did one good thing in her entire public life and that was TOO MUCH for the Republican Party

Trey Parker and Matt Stone and whomstsoever does their actual animation deserve the world’s most giant Emmy.

See also: Jance dance in a tuxedo shirt

I love that! Well call it women in STEM.

a little girl is making a funny face and saying `` why are boys such jerks ? '' ALT: a little girl is making a funny face and saying `` why are boys such jerks ? ''

Good name

Oh, wait, I also bought this for my brother. He’s my little brother, but he’s a dad now. I think it’s time.

P is practically finished with his Christmas shopping. I have only bought one (1) Christmas gift, and it’s one of his stocking stuffers.

Do girl cats get Virginia Slims or will they not abide gendering cigarettes? More at 11.

Stay and fight the man you now know is evil?
“Nah. I’ma check out like the punk you always knew I was.”

We’ll take the W, McQ.

My kingdom* for Lester

*a few bucks I could spare

It’s giving

Earlier this week I gave a junior lawyer at another firm some advice about visibility and showing up to firm events if you can manage it.

As some sort of cosmic joke my firm then scheduled a Thanksgiving lunch for next Monday at a restaurant in the far exburbs.

Behold! He has graced momb with a small snuggle.

This gives me an even bigger superiority complex about never surrendering my 404 number in ATL. The alternatives are 770, 678, 470. Ew.

I’m so sad for Anna Kepner. No one has been charged yet but it starting to sound like the adults in her life failed her so miserably.

Bet*