Josh "cortex" Millard

BIN A WORLD

missy, maybe you should spend a little less time complaining about consent and a little more time praying in the conVENT

I immediately felt like I knew who that was going to be, and I was right, and I am very happy that she has managed to make this a recurring "oh, we gotta talk to Alice about THIS horse game" go-to expert opinion gig

hell yeah bud

fucken calm down e.e.

Lil Jon, on his first day of maid training, being told that the goose feather duvets have to be rotated 180 degrees each morning:

one need only observe the frequent respiratory spasms of the well-coiffed

sending this to the Classical Latin professor I've been banging to let them know we're breaking up

[rubbing temples] Neutral Cowgirl Hotel

Fuckin scoobheads

congrats to Reese

this is unfair, washing dishes in the group apartment is skilled labor even if it only occurs like once a week

somewhere someone who collects very specific kinds of wild game trophies has that horse head piece mounted on a tiny slab of wood on the wall of their den

when you do a pretty crappy job of making deals that's called a quid amateur quo

but doctor

i am blocked on a task i don't care one whit about completing but I still personally resent being blocked

fuck 'em up jed

you can't step in the same sandwich twice

well, for starters, be not afraid

Let him cook

God, yeah, it's weird trying to find just the right sub-sub-sub-section of space to talk about this stuff to people who both (a) aren't tied to a specific social sphere and (b) have enough general context to understand the territory. (And some of your stories are probably about me, so, heh.)

There should just be a Good Job Guillermo award that we give to him every year for doing a good job, honestly we should have had one for Lynch too

DAVID LYNCH: I filmed the tiny grandparents at the end as a cautionary tale

MUSHROOM DEALERS: At last, we have created the tiny grandparents from the psychedelic classic Mulholland Drive

this is what jesterfied me

Here's the thing. I'm okay if I miss it when it happens. If what it takes to make it happen is me, personally, experiencing the most profound FOMO in human history, I am willing to make that sacrifice. You can All Summer In A Day me. Omelas me. It's worth it.

guys they turned the plane around because they accidentally Home Aloned him, they got halfway to Davos before they realized what happened and in the meantime he's just been pouring marbles down all the stairs and yelling at Joe Pesci

hell yeah

#pinkmickeymouseclub TikTok video by Josh “cortex” Millard

Doing important work over on tiktok dot com www.tiktok.com/t/ZThkhwXG4/

Really like this partial-divergence vibe

i live to swerve