Dylan Magaldi (Tessa Mystic)

I practice safe sex by only listening to the cranberries when I fuck to prevent UTIs

picked a crazy to day to log back onto bluesky lmao

there is nothing to say that hasn’t already been said. love your neighbors as if they were your own family, keep your community safe, healthy and fed, be careful online, keep making art and enjoying life to the fullest, if only out of spite

That’s a wrap on pride month! So many amazing opportunities & shows & good times. ❤️💫

alexa play as the world caves in by matt maltese

welp

I'm not sure how to make jokes right now because reality is such a joke already

y’all don’t fuck with cantaloupe like I do ‼️

sometimes i'll notice all my facial muscles are tense and then i realize it's because i've been making the nastiest most hater-ass face you've ever seen for several minutes straight

Got to sling some cool tats in Chicago this weekend! 🤗

bluesky doesn’t seem as horny as it should be for springtime

raging against the dying of the light (drinking coffee after 4pm)

eating clean (sliced bars of soap)

look the government may not be very good at governing but you have to admit that they are very good at racism

in my top era i guess

eating a baguette like corn on the cob

you’re tellin me a crab ran this goon?

Halfway to Halloween was a kiiii 🖤✨

I love those “falling rocks” signs on the side of the road so I can feel helpless AND afraid

I genuinely thought trump saying he’d like to be the pope was a satire article until I actually saw the video. What the fuck is this timeline we’re in I want out!

Every sandwich is objectively better when it’s on toasted bread you can’t change my mind

swerving into the Kroger parking lot blasting Charli xcx so I can get my gallon of ice cream

Tessa is in her blonde era 👱🏻‍♀️💅🏻✨

Every time I see a cyber truck I hit em with one of these and I gotta say it’s WAY more satisfying than giving them the finger

do not let that tesla merge, bestie

hey I forget that bluesky is like the one app where my family doesn’t follow me so consider this my official coming out:

I’M TRANS AS FUUUUCK 🥳🏳️‍⚧️

sure, social media is a maze and we're mice stuck inside, but don't worry, any minute now I bet they're going to give us a piece of cheese