Sarah Stone

I’m creative but not chaotic enough to be an artist

[work email notification dings]

Me: [yelling] WHAT NOW

Option 1: Pop the Big Orange Zit now and risk scarring, understanding that the bacteria is still there

Option 2: Combat the bacteria below the surface so the Zit will slough off over time without a fight

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this

I’m so happy for the people who are removed enough from this industry to enjoy The Studio and I personally look forward to watching it after I retire

Let me tell you something about guys who are 5’10”

Half of them are 5’8”

Idk guys sometimes there is no nuance to it

My main leverage in any transaction is: “You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?!”

Secondary leverage: “Let’s just get through this so we can both be done.”

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

I work very quickly and efficiently, and if there’s a delay in my workflow, it’s because I’m trying to remember where the letter H comes in the alphabet

Honestly so happy for all of you who have Good Friday off — good for you

I am not tech support, but I have to say, “Update your browser!” to at least one coworker every week

Severance is very stressful bc I know these people aren’t getting their data refinement done before they go home each night. That work is piling 👏 up 👏

We became shocked and horrified in September 2001 and we just stayed like that so long that our faces froze like that and
THIS is why Millennials “look so young”

✅ milkshake
✅ smoothie
❌ cold soup

You guyyyyyyys my coworker just sidebar asked me how I maintain such a great work/life balance and keep my weekends just for myself 💀 Maybe I’m doing better than I thought?!

Saturday morning commercials are my cited source to defend my belief that a bowl of Lucky Charms is a perfectly legitimate [part of a balanced] breakfast

1977: we *have* to let the Nazis march in Skokie, IL because if we don't protect the worst fuckers on Earth we might be next!

2025: we *only* let Nazis march, and also if you say something mean about that Cybertruck the President can have you shot

Yes I use the artificial intelligence tool for daily stuff as needed BUT I always thank it afterwards so I’m not afraid of the terrors to come

I appreciate the IMDb Parents Guide so I know what I can watch with my parents

Kinda wish the “Apple products for good characters only” rule was true in real life

Yes, Linda, I’d love to take vacations while I’m young but that would require money while I’m young so I’ll continue taking PTO to stay home and read a book instead

Cannot fathom the Thursdayness of it all

It’s a good thing crème brûlée is so hands-on and time-consuming or else I’d make it for all my meals every day for the rest of my life

Am I obsessed with looking out the window when it’s snowing? You betcha

You guyyyyyyys one of my social engagements this weekend is cancelled and I’m overjoyed

If you hear loud music coming from my house, it’s actually my neighbor’s car

^^^that is the caption under the face I made

Just had a 30-min work Zoom meeting with a client to discuss the email he’s about to send me and he let slip that
he does these Zooms because he misses “shooting the breeze with people” and all his “conversations these days are all business.” 😑 Sir.