Jason Anderson

1999 Concert Mistakes: Got punched in the mosh pit, lost a contact lens and had to drive home with one eye closed.

2025 Concert Mistakes: The tacos were too spicy and when we got home at 11:40 I was so tired I forgot my psyllium husk supplement and now my belly hurts.

Me: 2025 has been so good for horror

You: Yeah! What have been your favorite movies so far

Me: What's a movie

Barely an hour ago, Palestinian journalist Anas Al-Sharif warned us all:

“If this madness doesn’t end, Gaza will be reduced to ruins, its people’s voices silenced, their faces erased — and history will remember you as silent witnesses to a genocide you chose not to stop.”

Israel just killed him.

My retirement goal is to actually be able to retire. I’ll be 65 in 20 years and I still live with my parents and have $3000 in savings.

fucking award

I guess we’re okay with this.

(Feel free to RT this over the next few days, weeks, years, forever)

Trump: "If you so much as touch or even think about destroying a statue or monument in Washington DC you go to jail for 10 years."

Video game interface that says, the only available language currently is English. Multiple languages will be available in a later update. Unfortunately accents can cause the voice detection to not work as well. If you do not have one of the following accents, try all three. American. Indian. British has been disabled. It did not work for anyone. These three are the only English accent options available.

The dream: soon we are going to have Star Trek style computers you can talk to

The reality: "British has been disabled. It did not work for anyone."

If we can afford to put all those "criminals" in jail, we can afford to put all those "homeless" people in housing.

Gerrymandering handed the GOP majorities in the House in 2022 and 2024.

Gov. Gavin Newsom’s Press Office will get his attention with this one

Someone forgot to take down this webpage:

www.justice.gov/usao-dc/pr/v...

Goldfish 1: knock knock

Goldfish 2: who's there

Goldfish 1: who's where

Goldfish 2: what

Front Page of the Day:

He will not be deterred.

#ReleaseThe_EPSTEIN_Files

EDGAR ALLAN POE: these pancakes are delicious

EDGAR ALLAN POE’S MOM: would you like some more

RAVEN: *looks up from reading newspaper*

EDGAR ALLAN POE: n-no thanks

Fuckin’ sick

An unused object found in Yoshi's Island is the "Overly Congratulative Green Coin". It is identical in functionality to a red coin, but plays the Perfect Clear fanfare when placed in specific areas. This causes the game to appear to unnecessarily celebrate every single coin.

DATE: *looking at dessert menu* are you thinking what i’m thinking

ME: *smiling* let’s say it together

DATE: 1,2,3! ice cream

ME: why does “Open” start with a closed circle and “Closed” start with an open cirrrice cream

In Mario Kart World, an MKTV helicopter tracks the racer in first place on routes between tracks. Despite appearing to only be a decorative element to provide the feeling of a real rally, it actually has collision and can block projectiles aimed at first place.

A Google alert announces Chappell Roan concert tickets, but the image is of Weird Al

You sure about this, Google?

So much of right wing media just generates outrage about nonsense, I would love liberal leaders whose posture was like "I'll give you something real to cry about." Instead of "Mr Potato Head Is Muslim??" I want them freaking out about a 90% inheritance tax

A blank notification on the lock screen.

It doesn’t swipe away when you try to clear it.

lol I don’t know what this notification is but I can’t swipe it away either. Tapping it doesn’t do anything either. Interesting bug in iOS 26. Sending feedback.

"We're all throwing dildos at women athletes to promote our memecoin" really puts a fine point on not just how sexist, mean and stupid so much of right now is, but also the grim degree to which we're just inundated with Stuff a 15-Year-Old Dipshit Would Think is Cool. A confederacy of Beavises.

FRIEND: do anything this summer

ME: yeah i took a few road trips

FRIEND: cool where'd you go

ME: nowhere i just fell down in the street a lot

Remember, if you see an axe murderer, run up and feed his ass a few slices of kiwi. Problem solved and whatnot.

A meme with a bunch of drawings of people with Samus Aran arm cannons with the trans flags that says “Repost this is trans people should have Samus Arm Cannons.”

Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.

Trump is building himself a golden ballroom, and has already built himself a golden Oval Office and paved over the Rose Garden. He hates dogs. He hired a woman who shoots puppies to head ICE. He is a disgusting, vile person to his very core.

All new numbers. I told them how I wanted the books cooked and look at these. Bright colors, easy to read. Tremendous. No one has ever seen anything like it. Believe me.

Imagine a German saying they're proud of the Nazi part of their history.