Malice the Macabre

I remembered I babied my thighs the first time because it hurt to use them so much. I walked around a lot the 2nd time and the pain didn't linger at the same intensity. I'm not usually one to "push through the pain" as a disabled person, because that often means avoidable injuries, but it works here

So, the day after my booster, I decided to go through allll my fabrics/clothes and rebag them for the eventual move. Keeping my arm moving through the pain was more helpful than hurtful.I Remembered that from childhood shots in my thighs for walking pnumonia 2x (had pneumonia 3x total before age 10)

Got a long overdue covid booster today. First time being stabbed since the traumatic ER visit last year...so the lead up was intense even with anxiety meds. The person who did it was so sweet, patient and gentle, it didn't hurt at all, not even a little. It helped my trauma a bit too.

"what's wrong with you?" "What did you do to yourself?" -_-

@sihoorain starting to feel like like most of my consequences don't even have actions

I said fuck it and buzzed off all my hair. Was tired of it and my scalp always hurting. I fucking love it.

Folks who grow facial hair, namely the stache: does one side of your mustache grow in faster/longer than the other fucking side? I got rid of mine during the heatwave and as it comes back in again, I'm noticing things lol

Nothing like having ARFID while there's been almost nothing to eat in the house, let alone acceptable to eat things for the last 2 weeks. I wonder how much weight I've lost. I felt like this all the time as an anorexic teenager that didn't look the part 🙃 so this is doing WONDERS for my mental state

Can't afford to give out candy this year...can't even give the neighborhood kids one last Halloween from us. Fuck my MIL

I don't give a fuck how standard the practice may be on onlyfans, I will NEVER offer dick ratings. Never have, so don't fucking ask me. I don't wanna see your dick, no matter what you offer to pay me.

As if she could seperate my family and only keep the parts carrying her DNA. She is a bold faced & heartless liar who is so emotionally numb she literally can't cry and hasn't in years, per her own words. I fucking hate her, and I hate this situation and I don't know wtf to do anymore.

soooo...expect me to make another fucking go fund or something, because my city has recently made being homeless,including sleeping in your car illegal. My MIL declared all of this is my fault for coming to live here in the first place. How I should go live with my own mother.

Timeline has moved up. We will be homeless by the end of October if we don't find a place ASAP (and we literally can't because they won't even let you apply without a certain income) and no place that accommodates us is remotely affordable or near my son's highschool. We are fucked.

DISNEY: "OK, we are putting Jimmy Kimmel back on the air. You can resubscribe now."

ME: "I unsubscribed because you immorally bowed to fascism. I'm not going to resubscribe because you immorally bowed to finances."

When all of your clothes feel too "gender" for your genderfluid ass, sometimes only a skeleton onsie will do. When all options fail you, be the fucking skeleton.

I get to deal with unpacking a bunch of new trauma after she's gone on top of us having to move by Jan since my cunt of a MIL is selling the house we live in with nowhere for us to go/no way to afford anywhere on our own. She robbed this family of their entire summer. She is no longer my family.

She's due to go to her forever home tomorrow and it can't come soon enough. I won't let her near me now. I can't. I told my MIL as I came in from that "FUCK THAT DOG AND FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING HER HERE!" and she responded "and fuck you for being here" validating 10+ years of knowing I wasn't welcome.

Lola traumatized me in a way I'll never get over. She found a rabbit in the back yard the other night that's lived in the garden for some time & treated it like a toy. They squeak exactly the same as toys...& I'll never fucking unhear that sound or unsee that...my screams... I was in emotional shock

Live your life in such a way that people don't celebrate your death 🤷🏻

Lol so we have to move bc my MIL needs to sell the house apparently 🙃

Yay.

Anyone want some fucking art?

Just a PSA that if youre on my VIP OF page and you leave rebill on all month and then fuck off on the day it's supposed to to charge you, you'll be restricted or blocked because it's a huge dick move. Especially from folks I know IRL. This is why you dudes can't have nice things

Lola has a potential forever home she will be going to next week. At least that's the plan atm. Lady could change her mind, who knows. I have a Mix of emotions about it, all extreme in nature. It's certainly the straw that broke my mental health though...

I'm not ok.

If you need me, no the fuck you don't.

(Unless you're picking up a commission I already finished for you)

1 - a bird puts his head all the way back *inhale* 2 - And screams *This isn't normal! *stop ignoring it

Heh.

Disassociating constantly just to survive...and I know it's going to take a toll...because it already fucking is.

I just got the most accessible wireless bra in my life thanks to a fan getting it for me from my throne wishlist. I could have never gotten that for myself budget wise. This means so much to me. To have something so tailored to my needs is rare.

My subs will get to see said bra of course.

I love migraines that start the moment I wake up and continue throughout the day because literally nothing helps them. So swell a thing to experience.

I went 2 years without a PCP once mine retired because of this...and I'm currently like this about ENTs period. Never going to another one. They always treat me like a child.

Or my loops I've been in for a year
1.Need diagnostic test to evaluate damage/failed surgery
2.no one in the state does that specific test anymore.
3.Dr orders less accurate test.
Insirance denies it.
4.dr leaves practice. Get a letter informing me.
5.cant fix issue they can't asses
Back to 1