CultOfGlass

I hooked up with that girl I'd stopped seeing. The post nut clarity hit me like a fucking Mack truck lol

When my piece of shit loser brother inevitably drinks himself to death, my enabling parents will act like it's something they never saw coming. The reality that they both watched him drink himself stupid every single day for 15 years and did nothing about it will never set in. They can't say no.

Having a boilermaker and a single pickle for lunch

Most people know that Mario from Mario 64 loves drinking piss

Three times now I've had vivid dreams about having sex with a woman I know. We are not each other's types at all whatsover. Subconscious, what is you doing buddy?

What an absolute dumb asshole

People who do Rammstein at karaoke should all be put to the guillotine. You all sound like shit and Till would hate you 🤣

I love to hit a fly with a baseball bat

Alright it's late. I gotta go home and kill myself. Always good to hang out with you dude.

Gonna nut on the window later

Feeling extra hopeless lately. Life feels completely pointless and I don't know why I'm still here

Both foreman at my company are gonna quit over the winter because of the micromanaging GM. Gonna be hilarious in spring when he has nobody to run projects and will still deny any wrongdoing lol

Ripped a sickening fart that destroyed a wasp hive instantly

When we can turn back slime to any slime

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure the company I'm working for is gonna go under sooner than later 😬

can't stop thinking about stupid it would be if you were like, just some dude working at ace hardware and an angry right winger walked in and yelled "why isn't your flag at half mast for charlie kirk?" the funniest possible response would be "who's that"

Zucchinis are so disgusting. Throw them all in a big dumpster and set it on fire.

Gonna end my shit real soon man. Life feels absolutely not worth living at all anymore.

Need the big lock so bad 🔒

Politics are bad and not good

One time an oil can came to life and was so horrified it threw itself off a bridge and floated away forever.

Yanking my pud in a haunted house and seeing if any of the ghosts want to join in

Frasier loves pounding off in that small bathroom right by the door of his fancy apartment

I cannot wait to off myself 😍

Same.

Thinking about getting too horny on here

I love to stave off decay