Darth Bluey

It could be worse—he could have offered a free root canal or something.

The Dark Side is starting to look more like a centrist position these days.

That’s one helluva ham sandwich!

“…except him, that is.”

Half of us hallucinate the current administration’s competence already.

They spelled “Auschwitz” wrong.

STAAPPP it … we’re not only paying for this farce but we’re paying for asses in seats too??? GTFO 🙄🙄

Trumpism is a cancer, metastasized and busily attacking the republic from within, so…

My 6 year old knows head, shoulders, knees and toes. Frankly, I think he has more qualifications than she does.

Taco Tuesday has more authenticity, culturally speaking.

How many takers will there be? If I blaze away at an unarmed kid’s back while he flees, I doubt I’ll want a lawyer from a Vichy law firm who specializes in M&A and drafting surrender documents.

I much preferred representing the accused in criminal cases. Substance abuse, mental health & childhood trauma are one thing. Adding sex, money, and kids? That’s a next-level kind of crazy.

Family law hits different, bro.

Necromancy needs its day in the sun!

Donald J. Trump @realDonald Trump THIS IS THE TRUMP STOCK MARKET BECAUSE MY POLLS AGAINST BIDEN ARE SO GOOD THAT INVESTORS ARE PROJECTING THAT I WILL WIN, AND THAT WILL DRIVE THE MARKET UP — EVERYTHING ELSE IS TERRIBLE (WATCH THE MIDDLE EAST!), AND RECORD SETTING INFLATION HAS ALREADY TAKEN ITS TOLL. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!! 2.15k ReTruths 8.05k Likes Jan 29, 2024, 10:07 AM

Donald J. Trump @realDonald Trump This is Biden's Stock Market, not Trump's. I didn't take over until January 20th. Tariffs will soon start kicking in, and companies are starting to move into the USA in record numbers. Our Country will boom, but we have to get rid of the Biden "Overhang." This will take a while, has NOTHING TO DO WITH TARIFFS, only that he left us with bad numbers, but when the boom begins, it will be like no other. BE PATIENT!!! 163 ReTruths 591 Likes Apr 30, 2025, 9:13 AM

1/29/24: “THIS IS THE TRUMP STOCK MARKET”

4/30/25: “This is Biden’s stock market”

It only paid dividends because his targets lack courage. Having no spine, they can only manage business on their knees.

If we could only harness the power generated by the Founding Fathers as they spin in their graves, we could have a cheap source of green energy!

Jailing under civil contempt seems to be a better choice, since it can’t be pardoned and could, in theory, be tailored to increase the likelihood of compliance by giving the offending official the keys to their own cell.

I hope the driver has insurance. If he was under the influence, he probably won’t have it in the near future.

No one was hurt?

By all means, let’s gut the CDC and NIH. What could go wrong?

Chuck Schumer should leave the Senate to become a partner at Paul Weiss.

Where do they stand on orange make-up for old white men? Asking for a friend.

There should be, beginning with Eisenhower-era tax rates at least until we have good roads, clean air & water, first-rate public schools, universal healthcare and a space program geared toward sending Elon to Mars. (If elected President, I will cut funding to bring him back though.)

… yet.

A LOT of foreign olive oil is adulterated. California Olive Oil Council has you covered, and it’s domestic.

I’m shocked, shocked to learn that some people only like federalism when it benefits their partisan preferences.

Caspar the Ghost white?

This seems healthy. You are also supporting an actor who intensely dislikes Matt Gaetz. Carry on.

Ha! The joke is on these rubes. His honor worships Lolth!

Trump is crushing it!

The economy, that is.