Chris

THIS IS SO GOOD

…and when a train isn’t running, but a bus has been put on as a replacement:

Every Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day), the Southeastern train network in the UK renames London St. Pancras train station to:

This is fantastic.

Imagine walking around all day every day thinking you’ve got a soul. Don’t get it.

Snort-laughed at that so hard I think I’ve damaged some soft tissue in my sinuses.

Thank you!

Doesn’t matter if the rules use fancy words in a single document, if they’re the sum of 1,000 years of convention, or if they’re tattooed in reverse on the arse of every citizen at birth.

Rules can be ignored. They can be rendered toothless. And when they are, they offer no protection.

That’s more flippant than I meant it to be.

But being British and vaguely political on the internet for 30-odd years means I’ve heard my fair share of “EnJoY bEiNg A SUBJECT! YoU dOn’T eVeN hAvE a CONSTITUTION, you SERF!”

And I’ve said all along: the rules only work if the players follow them. 1/

The Constitution doesn’t seem to be worth the parchment it’s written on. Ellipsis.

Things I’ve learnt: I ain’t pretty enough for many things. This was already known. But also, I ain’t pretty enough for murder *or* thievery.

I'm going to start a new political party. It's called Shut The Fuck Up and Feed People.

"But what if they're on drugs?"

Shut The Fuck Up And Feed People

"Or not really THAT poor?"

Shut The Fuck Up And Feed People

"What if they have a phone and nice nails?"

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FEED PEOPLE

Nothing quite like when all your cloud stuff disappears from the Azure portal despite all the status stuff being green.

Did… did I click something *really* bad?

Oh, wait, no. Phew.

Ok, the Mexican version of the F1 music slaps.

LET THE 3PM SUNSETS COMMENCE!

Me, at the pub after being left alone at the table:

“Fine. I’ll sit here and look attractive”

NARRATOR: He did not look attractive.

Love mine — been going for a couple of years now. Highly recommend getting a silicone-insulated USB-C cable for it, both for the flexibility and the burn-resistance.

Had no idea it was Bluetooth until my Hone Assistant server discovered it. Now I have pointless temperature graphs!

A picture of a foggy street

Edinburgh castle failing to render, likely thanks to the AWS outage

It’s:
Albany Park
Bexley
Crayford
Dartford

…but it’s not then:
Etone Crossing
Freenhithe
Gwanscombe
Horthfleet
Iravesend

(IMHO, National Rail’s — well, soon to be GB Railways’ — double-arrows symbol deserves to be every bit as internationally famous as the London Underground roundel)

NR Clock Launch Film 1 min 05 sec video

I kinda love this.

fast.wistia.net/embed/iframe...

*crosses-out ‘Firewire’, writes ‘IEE1394’ and hands back the note*

*unfolds a crumpled Post-It*

Will this do?

The Girl With The Cat Earring

Bridget Hangs Out With The Hunters In The Snow

Bridget Meets The Beatles On Abbey Road

Bridget Does Edward Hopper

THREAD. When my parents' cat Bridget went missing, my dad, to try to ease his worry, painted her on a variety of historical adventures. These soon multiplied. Significantly.

After much nagging, he has had some postcards printed of this brilliant series:
michaelcoxmoredaysthansausages.bigcartel.com

What’s the LD50 for cortisol?

I apologise. Running into forests on company time is wage theft. I don’t know what came over me. Anyway, I have partaken in some company-approved pizza and feel much better now, thank you.

But there are no more resources! It’s only me! The company’s business plan is “make Chris figure it out”, but pretend it isn’t!

*runs off screaming into the forest*

Oh god… and it’s only Tuesday!

During the standup, will you be stopping to question me on how I’m going to solve things I’ve not even got to yet, then pick holes in my rough plan and begin ‘solutionising’ at me whilst making assumptions that I know are wrong?

Bonus points if you manage to nuke my entire plan for the day by 09:30

*cries in Azure DevOps*