Cathal

Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow

Do you think unbending Clippy until he was a long piece of metal would be painful for him. Or do you think it would cause him to feel a great sense of relief

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn girl aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare you here to fix my keyboaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard becaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase it's broken

Black and white photo of Jim Henson as a young man with one of his Muppets, Rowlf the dog. Henson has a thin face, high hair, a beard and looks - to these eyes at least - like Taskmaster's Alex Horne.

"All the information is in the task, Rowlf."

YOGA CLASS

INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog

*loud thud

GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose.

My thoughts exactly.
It’s a shite movie. A not great story very badly told.

I could get a lot more done if I had a sword

• Al Overview The idiom "you can't lick a badger twice" means you can't trick or deceive someone a second time after they've been tricked once. It's a warning that if someone has already been deceived, they are unlikely to fall for the same trick again. Here's a more detailed explanation: • Licking: "Licking" in this context means to trick or deceive someone. • Badger: The badger is a wild animal, and the phrase likely originates from the historical sport of badger baiting where dogs were used to harass

Someone on Threads noticed you can type any random sentence into Google, then add “meaning” afterwards, and you’ll get an AI explanation of a famous idiom or phrase you just made up. Here is mine

Time to post the real story of Easter from Shane Daniel Byrne again 😂 #easter

It's time to repost this Easter masterpiece

"Everything reminds me of her" I whisper, as I walk past a tree shaped like a bitch

Hope it was worth it to stop a few of us from peeing.

Genius. Xxxx

It’s 9am TFT time here, and citizens are already gathering to protest Tariffs by the United States. Our plain clothes Officer Penguins are attempting to maintain calm, but unfortunately we keep losing them in the crowd.

Reeling In The Years

Bravo

Traditional St Patrick's Day breakfast

I’m sorry to add to our woes but my friend saw this

Doctor fined $10,000 after sharing photo of comatose patient's penis with a swastika tattoo The patient was in ICU, intubated and ventilated after a homemade pipe bomb exploded in his grasp.

Im gonna need a few minutes to unpack what I just read

I bet at least one guy farted in the Trojan horse

Publicity still from Modern Life Is Goodish adorned with various quotes from reviews etc

The brand new series continues tonight at 9 on U&Dave.

Or, if you fancy it, you can watch it - and all the others - whenever you fancy over at u.co.uk/genre/comedy

okay, well can AI do THIS??

[drops phone on face in bed]

dune 2 should not have won best vfx considering the big worms were all real (and were mistreated horribly on set by the way!!! @peta)

Me: I know pantyhose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone

Teller: So is this not a robbery?

Me: No, it is

His dullness annoys me. I mean all that money - OK, we know he won't use it for good - but his evil is banal.
He could cross koalas with sharks to make a cute, vicious evil mutant army, or turn the M25 into a dodgems circuit... but no... the height of his ambition is to be a shit office manager.

"You cannae touch this" - McHammer.

Jam inside pull out the d

Nah the printer trying to get me a call from HR

Angrily in DIY store: How many of your employees does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eavesdropping joke writer: That gives me an idea

All the other scientists are yelling at me because I’m wearing the Doomsday Clock like Flavor Flav