Flintrock

I said, “Thank you!” to the hostess as I was leaving a restaurant. Johnny Knoxville was at a table behind her and said, “Thanks, man! I appreciate it.”

This might be the most accurate skit that has ever appeared on TikTok and that’s a strong field

It can be difficult to encapsulate an entire political ideology into a sentence but I just don’t want a government that is cruel

The parking situation at The Hotel California must be awful. A parking lot full of cars that never leave. No chance at getting a good spot nowadays.

Deleting my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (I'm sitting in my living room, he's a large jug of red juice that bursts through the side of my wall)

Looking for the precedent the partner says exists but you know is a figment of their imagination

Bedford Falls in the streets, Pottersville in the sheets.

Fruity pebbles are not very fruity, but no other pebble comes half as close

Massive away win for the little fella.

Thanksgiving should have a trick or treat element. Knock on a neighbor’s door and get a slice of pie in my bag.

Every time I see a recalled product, I kind of want to try it.

This site really does feel like 2019 Twitter in a good way

i do not want supporters of a racist fascist rapist bigot anywhere near me tbh i do not think that is an unreasonable position tbh

Yet again, autocorrect leads me ashtray.

Freddie, a beagle trained to assist Washington Dulles Airport, works the floor during his shift smelling for contraband. (Photo by Craig Hudson for The Washington Post)

this is freddie, who works four days a week, 4 a.m. to 2 p.m.

he has tracked down citrus, mangos and other fruits, as well as things like cane rat, pigeon and, in september, two pounds of snake from equatorial guinea!

Eclectic Public Library
Eclectic, AL

Shoot for the moon. If you miss, here's a gentle reminder that the moon's diameter is 3,475km and you could not have fucked this up more

A group of school children sit in front of an orange truck which is a plow/sander. They are holding up a hand-drawn sign which I can't read but I think it says THANK YOU

New names for Vermont snow plows 2024, selected by Vermont schoolchildren. Some selections...

Skibidi Scooper
No More Mr. Ice Guy
The Snowy Pl-Owl
Clearopathra
Snoah Kahan
Salt-O-Saurus

vtrans.vermont.gov/name-a-plow

Looks like Netflix downloaded this fight from limewire.

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #624,069!

If I time it right on my morning commute, I end up in the same turning lane as everyone dropping off their pets for doggy daycare. Love seeing all of the happy dogs on their way to camp.

everyone with more followers than me is a clout addict posting for attention. anyone with fewer followers than me is a feral weirdo posting into the void. only i am dicking around on my phone in the manner of a regular person