Matt

Revisiting Lady Gaga's discography. Artpop still remains my favourite. Such a great, fun album.

G has just had a verbal altercation, in the street, with the Reform candidate for Motherwell and Wishaw. I couldn't be any more aroused

Really don't know what to make about Monster: The Ed Gein Story. I'm 3 episodes in and kind of feel like it's dragging and I'm losing interest.

Lol, no, absolutely not! As much as I'd love to, my sensible head is saying no, as I don't have the space.

Yeah, I never had him penned as the one who likes cats, but my friend sent me this pic of them having a butter treat and I couldn't believe it.

I think that's it. The other problem is his pals live in Ayr and the journey from Motherwell to Ayr was an ✨ event ✨ - I was stressed to fuck on the way there and back.

Yeah, I'm glad he's eating and he's letting me pick him up so he's not in pain, and he's not vomiting etc. the problem is, he gets so unbelievably stressed at the vets, so I'm worried about getting him there too.

I think my wee boy is depressed. When is as away he had a sleepover for 10 days with my friend and their 2 cats and he got on famously with them. Now he's home he keeps sleeping under the bed and has developed a husky Miaow. No pain, eating fine, but being really surly and depressed. Vets Friday.

Ironing all your stuff for work after a 2 week holiday is grim as hell. 😭

Now you're talking my language.

Really makes me laugh that Americans are so brainwashed and jingoistic that they think sitting down for they bland as fuck National Anthem is high crime.

You'll never see me standing for "God Save the King" because fuck the king an dhis parasitic family.

7:50am, Sunday. I've had a washing machine delivered, old one taken away, new one completely unpacked and the packaging in the wheelie bin BEFORE it got picked up, and I've just left the shop sporting 5 rolls for breakfast.

This all feels vaguely homophobic.

100% it's because I'm a gay Englishman in Scotland. Hate and race crime.

My dad to the rescue! Retrieved my towels and my jumper! New one being delivered between 7am and 10am tomorrow. That feels homophobic to me.

This is the most grown up conversation. I'm going to open the window and shout "boobs" at the top of my voice to bring it back down to my infantile level.

Yeah, my hoover one has been woeful. I should have learned my lesson from my hoover condenser dryer. G has just bought a Miele condenser dryer which he's absolutely buzzing about.

I went for AEG. I had a hoover and it has been absolute garbage, lasted less than 4 years, so just decided to spend a good amount and hopefully get a decent run out of it.

New washing machine. £700. 🙄

I've been learning German for a few years. It's hard as hell. But I've never wanted to be more fluent than when I listen to the lyrics:

In meiner Festung der Einsamkeit

(In my fortress of loneliness. Or something)

Why are they so manipulative with their paws?!

My bloody washing machine has broken. AGAIN. 😭 and there's a load of towels stuck in it!

I've only seen Bleed From Within once and it was when they supported Amon Amarth. When I say it's the only time I've gotten emotional watching a band. It's like the whole of Glasgow turned up for them. Loved it.

Post holiday blues so decided to come and do what makes me happy: listen to darkwave/dark synth in my favourite German bar in town.

4 pints of (strong) German beer deep and I'm all about the love of the world.

I absolutely detest it. I was a Swifty, then after Midnights and her ludicrously overpriced tour, I have completely done a 180.

I stopped listening to Metallica after they decided to fuck fans over too.

Ok, so I nicked into a Fopp in town to see what you were referring to here, and you know what, fuck Taylor Swift. That album is mediocre as fuck and releasing 4 versions of the same album with different posters in. Money grabbing cunt.

Well, guys, I'm well and truly a glasses gay now. 🤓

Totally printing this out and having it framed for G. We've established, whilst we've been away, that the man is a whitterer. Jeez.

I'm definitely going to get asked that. I burn really easily so have been factor 50 for 7 days and then went wild and reduced to 30 for the last 3. I think I'm going back paler than what I was. 😂

Heading home tonight and woken up today and it's throwing down. Right on time. Sit on that holidaymakers 🌧️🖕🏻

Exactly that. "Sorry, the best price we can offer is £66.99"

Then intake of breath

"If you take out our fibre broadband we will cover the cost of your remaining term with your current provider. Broadband and TV: £60"

Stop dicking about and just give us the best price FFS