Bryan

Manifesting this vibe today…..

You say “hot takes” … I say “facts”

You can’t fool me with those fake eyelashes…I know that’s a car.

Why do characters take OFF their glasses when shit gets real…isn’t that when you want to put them ON?

Hamburger help me.

[me to me] shh stfu I’m thinking

Terrible country but top-notch meme content. 👌

Do people who go out and do things on the weekends know about sitting down?

Worrying about things beyond my control is where I really shine.

One day you’re young the next day you realize you’ll never find a pillow that works ever again.

Judging purely by its name, the Food and Drug Administration would be a super rad place to work.

Life is just a bunch of wtf moments separated by calls from unknown numbers.

🏖️ > 🥶

The Earth is 75% water and that water is uncarbonated.

So technically the Earth is flat

It never stops 😩

My “work” voice is hilarious because who even is that?

I worked 60 hours last week and still post at the rate of an unemployed person.