Logan Five

Take a bow, America. The President has accepted a $400 million dollar flying bribe, and it’s barely even news.

Holy shit.

1. Didn’t field the grounder cleanly
2. Didn’t throw to first when he still had time
3. Threw to home — wildly

What a way to end your season.

Missed it the first time, then came back and definitely touched it.

a nurse is sitting in a chair and saying `` that 's right !!! '' ALT: a nurse is sitting in a chair and saying `` that 's right !!! ''

“Very good, Donald. You have indeed stopped 27 wars this week. Remember to drink your juice. The group will be going outside for a short walk at noon.”

He’s a just black hole of childish, pathetic, emotional need.

Love me. Praise me. Clap for me. Beg me. Kneel to me. Support me 🙄

When it finally happens, I will be happier than the guys on Maury Povich who find out they aren’t the father.

“I have new Be Best crypto to sell you. I do dis or I must make fuck with old orange man. Please buy Melania crypto very bigly. Tank you.”

He’s blowing fishing boats out of the water off Venezuela and killing everyone aboard with zero due process. And deploying the military on American soil against his own people. And his best friends in the world are the dictators of Russia and North Korea.

But sure. He’s a man of peace 🙄

Fox in an absolute panic right now about a possible Blue Jays-Brewers World Series 🤣

My great-Uncle died for this country in World War II, and you sick fucks are going to Both Sides us into the end of American democracy.

Grandpa Dementia is getting worse by the hour.

The idea of losing the country to this absurd dope is just beyond belief.

Big shoutout to the industrious people of Portland, who somehow managed to rebuild every home, business, skyscraper, restaurant and sports arena in only 24 hours.

They could start by raiding the ANTIFA corporate headquarters. Seems like the logical place to start.

But unfortunately they can’t do that. Because it doesn’t exist.

Because ANTIFA doesn’t exist, you idiot fucking douche canoes.

As I’ve said, this whole ridiculous saga is like watching a James Bond movie where the evil villain trying to rule the entire world is played by Paulie Shore.

Meal Team 6

Always great to hear from Coach Goober. I’m sure his band of idiot hayseed cousin-fucking supporters is enthralled with such brilliant analysis.

It would be really nice if we had a political press in this country that covered Trump’s attempt to end democracy and establish a fucking dictatorship with the same intensity as they did when Biden tried to. . . provide student loan relief 🙄

And our political press yawns, because it’s just baked into the cake now that Republicans are criminally corrupt traitors who wipe their ass with the Constitution.

Accountability is for Democrats. The Republicans just get a hall pass. Apparently forever.

Republicans want you poor, sick and stupid.

For examples of this, look at anything they’ve said or done in my entire lifetime.

To the people of Chicago and Portland, there are things you can do even if you can’t be part of a demonstration.

If Trump’s Nazi goons come into your restaurant, don’t serve them. If they want to use your bathroom, don’t let them. If they want an Uber or taxi, don’t pick them up.

Good trouble ✊

It’s pretty easy to see his goal. Force chaos. Have citizens fight back. See cars on fire and windows smashed. Then declare it’s a nation out of control and he has to declare Martial Law until “order is restored.”

He might even be trying to do this before elections in VA/NY/NYC in a month.

We’re one final 6-3 Supreme Court decision (spouting some bullshit version of “The Executive must be given great latitude on all issues of national security”) from The End of Democracy.

I’m glad you qualified “regular season”, because Peyton Manning did it in the playoffs against Denver.

January 4, 2004. 22-26, 377 yards, 5 touchdowns, no picks. Perfect passer rating (158.3).

Obama was President in 2016, Grandpa.

Let’s start the speech bingo!

* I ended all the wars

* I should win the Nobel Prize

* The escalator was rigged against me

* I’m at 65% approval

Are these the high military standards our drunk SecDef was rambling about on Tuesday? Just curious.

I’ll say this again to our elected Democrats.

In “The Fugitive”, Harrison Ford’s character is wrongly convicted of murder. He escapes a bus-train crash, steals an ambulance, and sets out prove his innocence while avoiding capture.

NO ONE GETS MAD AT HIM FOR STEALING THE FUCKING AMBULANCE.

What’s remarkable is that — before 2016 — every Republican who is supporting this sick shit now was all onboard with “The federal government needs to stay out of our lives, and any intrusions into our glorious states are unforgivable violations of our state sanctity and freedom.”

I keep thinking about how the press would cover Michelle Obama or Jill Biden not living in the White House.