Logan Five

Republicans are colossal economic fuckups and will do nothing but make your life worse — example number eleventy billion 🙄

Take a bow, John Roberts. You’re in Jurassic Park, the power is out, and the T-Rex you greedily engineered has broken through the fence.

Perhaps selling your soul in the name of elevating a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, serial pedophile, and Russian asset wasn’t the wisest choice.

What a wonderful job you have when you’re simply required to make shit up, receive zero pushback, and target an audience comprised of most clueless dickcheese morons the world has ever known — a class of red hat-wearing rubes for whom facts, logic and evidence are the equivalent of witchcraft.

Can you imagine if this nation worshipped scientists, astronauts, etc as much as celebrities? If we actually craved enlightenment?

I’m an engineer and spent my career around other engineers/scientists. I could catch my neighbor fucking his cat and it wouldn’t be any more ridiculous than this shit.

Thank goodness we threw out “the elites” in 2016 and 2024 and replaced them with such simple, humble, folksy public servants.

Trump’s greatest luck was ascending during an era where the supply of people willing to debase themselves and surrender their own dignity is seemingly unlimited.

Just gutlessness everywhere.

I always knew America could end.

But I never thought our end could be this dumb.

Yes. Google search was indeed biased toward the left. It returned facts, logic and evidence.

He’s a Russian asset. He’s Putin’s bitch. He takes his orders from the Kremlin.

Destroy our economy. Destroy our health. Destroy our environment. Destroy democracy. Destroy NATO and the western alliance. Destroy the media. Destroy the concept of truth itself.

None of this is hard to understand.

Two-thirds of the military voted for Trump over Harris. Even after calling them “suckers and losers”. Even after leaving them in Afghanistan (Biden brought them home). Even after having bone spurs during Vietnam. And being a felon, rapist, traitor and pedophile.

They voted to be treated like dirt.

Gee, who could have seen this coming?

Me: Born in 1969, senior in High School in 1987, proud to be an honorary Duck-man. We all went through it at some point 🥲

What the hell. Let’s just replace modern medicine with bleedings and witchcraft while we’re at it. Seems to be the trend.

All of this to satisfy a plurality of our dumbest citizens who long to feel comfortable in their den of dumbfuckery.

No nation this fucking dumb deserves to survive.

We might survive. I hope we survive. But we don’t deserve to.

“It’s your fault you made us murder you.”

Here’s what they “clashed” over.

Democrats want the Epstein files unredacted so we can identify the pedophiles and hold them legally accountable. And the Republicans want to protect those same pedophiles and allow them to keep raping children.

Stop going all Both Sides with this, okay?

For the rest of your lives, never, ever forget that not even CHILD FUCKING was a dealbreaker for John Thune, Mike Johnson and John Roberts.

The moral rot of those men — and their party in general — is complete.

Of course she released it. She works for the pedophiles.

We’re not required to overthink it.

She’s covering up for pedophiles. She’s helping pedophiles get away with it all. She works for the pedophiles.

Could have chosen justice for the victims, but she’d rather run interference for the child-raping elite.

Make her own it every day of her life.

I’ve followed this shit since 1980. And every word out of every Republican mouth means absolutely nothing.

This is for the suckers, just like everything else is. The idiots. The hayseeds. The simpletons. The red-hat wearing dickcheeses who spend their lives excelling at nothing but fart jokes.

This is what Trump is going to do with Maduro.

“Just say you helped Biden steal the election in 2020 and I’ll cut you a deal.”

Any elected Democrat who doesn’t refer to Trump as a pedophile at every opportunity doesn’t deserve to be in office at this point.

Pedophile
Pedophile in Chief
Pedophile of the United States
Child Fucker
Child Rapist

Every day. Every opportunity. Never stop, no matter what.

Destroy him.

He isn’t an immigrant — you derp, ridiculous, idiotic, worthless motherfuckers.

At this point, the only shocking thing you could tell me about Tulsi Gabbard is that she’s loyal to the United States of America.

Turner went on to add “But I’m still totally cool with Trump being a pedophile. Not sweating that one.”

While you guys at the AP are having a surprising moment of clarity about this President being a racist, please consider what is equally true: He’s a rapist, a pedophile, a Russian asset, and a narcissistic con man.

And apparently Tim Scott is too fucking dim to understand that Trump looks at him the exact same way.

Smile for the minstrel show, Senator. Do your little dance. Entertain the Mar-a-Lago crowd. And then listen to them refer to you as “One of the good ones.”

Non-citizens already can’t vote, you lying, gaslighting, ghoulish piece of shit with a shiny cross around your neck.

It would also really help right now if we didn’t have a press room full of idiots who think stenography is journalism.

And why shouldn’t he say it? He’s standing before an audience that has based their entire life on jettisoning facts and critical thought in exchange for believing ridiculous fairy tales.

He’s their Santa Claus.

I’m a fucking Atheist and I’m somehow more Christian than anyone in that room.

Then again, CHILD FUCKING is sort of a dealbreaker with me when evaluating moral character.