Benny the Dirty Mocha

Hi hi!

The Caucacity

Cleaning up and I found a dollar in the couch. Oh happy day.

Join the pretzelution! @PRETZELIZED This is a piece of a box from a package that a friend sent in the mail. He sends me all sorts of weird nonsense.

Rise up, people.

Marty bring the DeLorean around
we’re going back to the past
we got a conception to prevent !

The Void:

*screams into the void*

[Joan Jett's I Love Rock 'n Roll playing]

8: 🎶I love Rocky Road🎶

My wife sent me this pic and I was like "Ew gross, I would never wear something that shade of green."
Like, what am I, getting pegged as the Grinch or something?

*rides off into the sunset*

*returns to check and see if the oven is turned off*

Me: We should move to Denmark.

Wife: Yeah, but we'll have to watch out for vampires.

M: I think we cook with enough garlic that we would be ok.

W: What if garlic actually seasons people and Vampires spread that rumour to get people to eat more garlic.

is he... is he biting the other guy's dick?!

using my butthole for the screen lock just to fuck with the cops

Loud and clear Nintendo 🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Luibee Mangione bois

JOMO (joy of missing out)

Context: in response to this video a Canadian commented essentially either blaming the reporter or saying it's just a rubber bullet

vm.tiktok.com/ZMSDkP4Ms/

*whispering to my Final Countdown Deck* soon

Ooo, I struck a nerve there eh?

Sorry, dinner is going to be late. The spatula magically turned into a microphone

GMing bluesky! happy saturday!

everyone go back to bed? sounds like a plan to me.

i hope you have a wonderful day!

adrew

Somehow the Fuhrer returned

If Elon violated his student visa and Trump is in the Epstein files than it is Alien versus Predator?

Ngl, Peanut Butter and Jelly M&Ms may be my new expensive comfort snack.

Current phone setup

What good in an omelette

a dating app but for narcissists so they can go and fuck themselves

A share size bag of Kit Kat minis unwrapped counts as girl dinner, your honor

I just put a whole boil egg in my mouth and started chewing and the yolk sprayed out and hit the back of my throat, so I get it.