Misery Highlight

sure sex is great but have you ever put on gloves, locked yourself in a room, and looked at photographs of meatballs

Ok who the fuck left all this jam in here unpumped

You're an inconsiderate lover, Charlie Brown.

going viral the old fashioned way: eating food that’s been on the floor for six seconds

Can’t rn.
Cat’s cleaning my arm.

Getting whacked on the inner ankle by a Skip-It would fix me

We already have enough hate in the world, we don’t need it here. Have a fabulous Friday, beautiful people.

Bsky tip: block several annoying shitposters at once by uninstalling the app

One person. At least one person who doesn't give up on you. We all need someone like that in our lives.

mira sorvino as the iconic romy in romy and michelle’s high school reunion telling a suit salesman “would you excuse me, i cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.”

whenever i get trapped in conversation

I scream, you scream, we all scream. welcome to primal scream therapy.

“You look happy”

Thanks, I gave up.

Calling a kid 'squirt' is like calling a tree a 'seed'.

If a child is amazed by something be amazed with them. Sharing their excitement. They will remember that forever.

A swallowtail butterfly on a dark pink dianthus flower.

A black and blue skimmer dragon fly rests on a cage around my tomato plant.

If you build it, they will come

Feels like it too.

Turning the music down while driving to better taste my cheeseburger

Beauty hack: don’t be racist

ironically shitposting instead of skeeting about politics is a political act

Being a lush sounds adorable. I think I'll be that.

Good thing you’re safe here.

Idk 😂 that’s just what I interpret it to mean while chuckling to myself when it happens to me

It’s good but I don’t like it.
-person reposting without liking

Am I really a monster?

Maybe money can’t buy you happiness but it did buy me a big box of peaches so whatever.

It's been forever! Let's stand in the middle of the Costco aisles and catch up!

"If you never encounter anything in your community that offends you, then you are not living in a free society."
Kim Campbell

I'm not apologizing for running into shit anymore. Fuck that cabinet.