Glandular Lansbury

Reading an article this morning about Hitler's tiny penis scientists wondering if they found out he had a monster hog would they have kept it a secret or would love of science win the day

Bruce Nauman
Double Poke in the Eye II

www.sothebys.com/en/buy/aucti...

Him: where are all the coffee filters?

Me:

if you see a very tall woman at the grocery store sweating and crying while trying to climb in with the frozen foods just leave her alone

Tweet by Joyce Carol Oates: "wherever he goes, he wants to leave"--that's because when he gets there, he has brought his own self along; & whatever club he's invited to join has been devalued by the invitation. QT of @avidreader1000 Wherever he goes, he wants to leave: SA, Canada, ultimately the U.S. in the long run, based on his behavior. This also includes Earth. A continuous disavowal of your home is odd, to say the least. He seems to have no c...

“whatever club he’s invited to join has been devalued by the invitation”

The brides wrote their own vows in what turned out to be a generative fiction-writing prompt.

2007 Remains seated during State of Union speech while George W. Bush nearly chokes to death on pretzel.

Timeline Of Nancy Pelosi’s Career https://theonion.com/timeline-of-nancy-pelosis-career/

The Thinking Man's Pontefract?

A 10 litre tub of Heinz Professional Mayonnaise.

Tactical ketchup. Performance mustard. Weapons grade sriracha.

Jean-Luc Picard in his civies frowning at his laptop and clutching his pearls

Reading any given headline this week like

your dead AI mother loves you so much ❤️

Is that Andrew Mountbatten Windsor?

Scientists Confirm Aurora Borealis Will Be Visible On Google Images Tonight

Scientists Confirm Aurora Borealis Will Be Visible On Google Images Tonight https://theonion.com/scientists-confirm-aurora-borealis-will-be-visible-on-google-images-tonight/

I went to school with an Aurora Borealis etc

Exactly what it says on the label: The Pope in 1982. He's wearing a black hat, dark RayBans, and looks like he's a member of the Blues Brothers.

What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?

It's the Pope in 1982.

I'm just a delicate garment in a machine wash world

Twitter screenshot: Craig @lordofsnowflake Replying to @OhNoSheTwitnt Telling a woman on the street shes gorgeous or wolf whistles arent sexual harassment. I Just wish we could go back to the early 1900s where women were actually women and didnt hate men. 2:45 PM • Jul 20, 2018

Mary Shelly lost her virginity on her mom's grave, facilitated a lesbian wedding, and carried her dead husband’s heart around in a bag, so, yeah, I agree, let’s return to traditional values.

Men finally do something hot and everyone starts scolding them.

Sign reading "bottomless fondue" in a pub

Don't threaten me woth a good time.

Got these new trainers today but I can't get it out of my head that they look like fuckin DC Tosh Lines from The Bill

Whenever someone tells a spoken word performer that they killed it, this is code

'Arrival'
(2016)
Dir. Denis Villeneuve

succubus - female demon that seduces men

incubus - male demon that seduces women

vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

THIS IS SO GOOD