Gary Muppet

I liked the office style muppet show ABC had. Pretty sure they were following me for content.

🎈 🎉

wake up cutie, them curbs ain’t gonna hit themselves

Waiter! There's a church in my state! 😠

if they don’t pick up the muppet show for a full season……

I’m not always up this early but when I am I’m pissed as hell

If Gary offers you coffee, just know that he overfills and takes a sip of yours first.

Next, Gary stuck a propane torch into the wood stove. Still nothing. This particular wood seemed immune to fire, so why was it so petrified?

🎈 🎉

Hope you feel better 💐

invented a new word: plagiarism

*puts on reading glasses*
time to post

Not indoors though. Trust me on this.

In my free time I enjoy finding weeping willow trees and complimenting them to cheer them up

fraggle rock implies the existence of fraggle jazz and fraggle rap

More or less unscathed as we scramble into the afternoon.

Wish I saw this five hours ago

Icy stairs, untied laces, and a lazy bulldog. The hazards were many and Gary cautiously took his first steps into Tuesday morning.

my fitness goals are such that i set the treadmill speed to Ice Cream Truck

The snow melts and the roof leaks. But where? Up in the attic, Gary dodges stalactites and searches for the answer
to life’s great mystery.

I'm lazy but not Neapolitan Ice Cream lazy

My extreme sport is typing without glasses

Fuck yeah unleash the groundhogs.

*leaves toothpaste on my mouth just so people know I actually brush my teeth*

Dear Mr. Groundhog, I’m gonna need you to get your shit together tomorrow.

Sincerely, The Entire Fucking Country

NYC! 2/24 - do NOT miss it!!

I like to put my phone down on an armchair the same colour as its case, so I can’t see it.

Once I lost my phone for several months and it was just on my black desk lying face down in its black case.

If dog not allowed on couch why is couch dog shaped

I've been making a fine little mess of things in the same way they do prescribed burns on forests that need healthy regrowth