Dr. Chooch MD PhD DDS

Sorry, can’t. I’ve been summoned to the yard by someone’s milkshake.

Why is Slimer so caked up?! Who said "ya know what, give him a dump truck of an ass"

Heating food up in a workplace microwave should be treated just like a war crime.

When I haven't opened the app in awhile I'll chill on discover... Until I see a grown man in a diaper or some incredibly graphic porn I didn't consent to. Then it's back to chilling with the homies

The real heroes are the people in the video comments naming the show or movie a clip was from

Want kids to go outside and get off of phones? Bring back payphones. It's the only way

I'm getting so many spam calls lately I'm starting to think someone wrote my number in a bathroom stall in Calcutta

I hope Ken Bone is a normal, well adjusted person in 2025 and I will not be looking to see what he is up to

only three things are certain: death, taxes, annoying guys

a man in a striped shirt is holding a golf club in front of a sign that says " now watch this drop " Alt: George W Bush telling you "now watch this drive" before hitting an mediocre drive at best

Remember when this goofy bastard founded DHS after 9/11?

These kids are too young to Never Forget!

A fake subway ad for "subtember 11th of a man flying with arms outstretched and mouth open towards two sandwiches standing vertically. The text reads you I'll never forget this deal. The price is listed at $9.11

Just a shout-out to the @theonion.com for making what is still the absolute funniest 9/11 ad of all time. This is a deal I will never forget!

Polis has lost the fucking plot. The fact that we still have a full year and change of this placating and capitulating is fucking sad.

Why was Peter Rabbit the only one with a normal name? Flopsy, Mopsy, and Peter? Come on, now

If you watch Jeopardy without playing out loud in your own home what the fuck are you even doing?

My 30's really hitting me like a tonne of bricks this week

My whole personality is coming up with skeets I think are clever, realizing it's the middle of the night and I should post them tomorrow, then promptly forgetting them

The amount of people raw dogging life with their teams notifications reflecting "9+" is wild

A small to medium sized pumpkin that I grew

The fruits (technically gourds) of my chaos gardening in front of my apartment building!

Girl same. That single post was enough for me lol

Whoever botched the Myspace server migration in 2019 is simultaneously both an asshole for the loss of my data and a hero for saving me from my own teenage cringe

Boy, that guy's post and replies are fucking insufferable

Best I can do is keep covering myself with tattoos and hope that's enough lol

If I intend on staying this mediocre I had better get way better looking

Was that main question how Sean Astin could be both a Gooney and Paulie Shore's best friend? Or just how Brendan Fraser was both a hunk and a human popsicle?

It's a holiday of the Working Class. Fuck the man, you deserve the time off

Literally spent most of my life wanting to wheeze the juice after that movie

a bald man with a beard is standing in front of a sign for scratchers ALT: a bald man with a beard is standing in front of a sign for scratchers

No! No wheeze the juice!

Don't use the phrase "passed away" for shitty people that die. Those motherfuckers croaked, kicked the bucket, bit the bullet. They're taking a fucking dirt nap and are worm food.

two men with curly hair are standing next to each other and one of them is saying hey buuu-ddy Alt: two men with curly hair are standing next to each other and one of them is saying hey buuu-ddy

Going to rewatch all the 90's Paulie Shore movies. Need some Weasel in my life to counteract these awful times