K Special

Well I just dumped coffee on my steering wheel and dashboard in solidarity ✊😆

Too cold out there, best to stay naked in bed together and wrap our bodies around each other to conserve body heat.

Happy low tire pressure season to all who celebrate.

didn’t understand why the toothpaste didn’t work until I realized the top was still on the tube in case you’re looking for someone to figure shit out

mutual obsession and chill?

Introvert language translated:

“Maybe I’ll come” - I’m not coming

“I’ll let you know” - I’m not coming

“I’m not sure yet” - I’m very sure that I’m not coming

“I’ll try and come” - I won’t try anything

“I’ll think about it” - I won’t think about anything, I’m not coming

You make me feel special AF

☠️😂

😁

🧺

Hey thank you! 🙏

That’s the goal!

Frickin cold out there this morning.

I’ll respond to your spicy DM once my penis thaws out 🥶

Ah yes, hunger, the absence of full.

Line judge in football holding this hands together above his head with another referee standing in front facing him

What kind of mating dance is this

a man in a red sweater is holding a piece of paper in his hand ALT: a man in a red sweater is holding a piece of paper in his hand

incoming!

Never! 🤩

Moon posting (my butt)

for the last time, i didn’t forget to bring down the halloween decorations, i’m GOTH

And I always get full body chills doing kegels 🤷🏻‍♂️😆

The moon is too bright and my heartbeat is too loud

🤩

🫶

Great news, I fixed the flaw in Bluesky where no one was liking or reposting my skeets by deciding to be funny

😂

I only think of you all the time

Reverse cowgirl cuz your dick is on backwards

If you can't laugh with them during sex, you're fucking the wrong person.

if anyone asks, i’m your work wife. i’ll explain later.