Kelsey

You know what, hell yeah

And now she’s saying JURI LONA MEXI TUZ 😤

Spam is out here saying JANTO BARGA FUNKO MIK 😒

I now remember Dave Vancouver coifed hair. Nice guy!

This list has expanded and I genuinely don’t remember who “Dave Vancouver coifed hair” is but having two Marty’s is stressing me out, too 😩 And don’t get me started on NEW JEFF!

And my ex needs to stop texting me. Like, he’s a little Monster (tangentially) but I’m not letting this one slide

The universe hates me, I’ve been living in peace for a year since my ex moved out, the apartment above has been empty for a while, and now? A young dude moved in with clonkin’ feet and TWO DOGS. BARKING. Floor is old and LOUD. Wrecking my peace. 💀 Send prayers.

Does anyone else have a cat who’s a hall monitor snitch? If I’m not in bed by her reasonable hour she’ll do a round every 15 and YELL. I’m writing this after Midnight so she’s correct BUT

I buy BusyCo body cleansing wipes, they have three different kinds and they are pretty big!

Firstly, it’s been broken for a month which is already shitty. Secondly, can we not just…buy the parts needed to fix it? Isn’t that what I’m paying rent for? Why are we waiting for disasters and scavenging neighboring fire-ravaged buildings for fucking parts like we’re living in an apocalypse??

The maintenance guy at my building approached me today to say something completely bizarre, “I have good news and bad news. The building across the street caught fire, but they’re gonna let me take some parts from a garage that burned so that I can finally fix your broken garage door!” ?????

Really need my sister’s post-high school boyfriends’s lil brother I had a crush on to NOT work at one of my frequent spots. I can’t do this. I can only pretend to not notice him for so long. It’s just..been too long, I don’t want the interaction 😕

To clarify, we do NOT have an established “pizza and butter garlic” protocol when we know raccoons are climbing in the drop ceilings, this was Gavin’s idea.

Bless you, Gavin.

JUST to be clear, I am an *office manager* for a company, but we have huuuuuge warehouse space. The amount of times we have to set traps for raccoons is kind of unbelievable. This is a completely normal work conversation 😩

Hey, why did I make an appointment for three tattoos tomorrow? Like, they’re mostly line work but also…why did I do this? Impulse control on level zero.

Just woke up from a dream in which I accidentally k*lled Ray Romano in a car crash (sorry my guy, the brain was on random mode), and the rest of the dream was just…living in jail. Except for the *one time* they very oddly let me out to wander around…and I still came back to jail 🫤

Can’t be normal to schedule three tattoos on a whim, but oops! I don’t have great impulse control. It’s fine! Literally affects nobody but me and my happiness!

A full rooster ran in front of me in the road today, and I swerved my car so dangerously into oncoming traffic because I couldn’t be that person. Just a lil chicken crossing the road, a scenario I never dreamt for myself.

You know what, hell yeah

Miss you too babe , just as much as I miss “Dustin hot (fired)” 😂 jk love you ❤️❤️

Girl, me too, I’m typing these notes sometimes as I’m speaking to their face, whatever comes out in the transcript is fact 😂

I’m gonna be real honest, I’m not great with names anymore, so this is my Notes app list of fellow regulars, servers, and bartenders’ names at the spot me and my work bestie frequent. Is this unhinged?

I want the people choosing to work for an asshole that I also think they are an asshole and I think that’s ok!

Idk if this is bad, but when I send emails to congresspeople or Senators from my state that are trash (Moreno was my target today) I *absolutely* bat down to their staffers for choosing to work for them, and I think that’s fine? Like, I address the issues but call them trash for who they work for?

Guys, I slipped and fell on ice twice in less than a minute last night. My ankle is humming, my ego is in the ground. The second time I said “NOT again” and I hope no neighbors heard me 😔

Visiting my boomer aunt in FLORIDA during this news cycle has been a ride, my guys.

Full apologies to everyone that Jake Paul is from Ohio.

And so it shall be

I’m not proud to admit I’m staying up for a boxing match. I hate this. They told me 8 pm and I believed them with no other info. I’m tired.