Matt Aromando

Oreos are Temu Hydrox.

Personally, my favorite way to feel is like a big stupid idiot that nobody likes.

Being able to separate good advice from bad advice is the hardest thing in the world.

Bloody Mary, all the vodka on top, please.

Pro-wrestling has conditioned me to think that anyone wearing a cast is faking it.

I consider eating two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to be a complete breakfast.

Part of me is a perfectionist and it kills me that I'll never be a complete perfectionist.

Reggie and Diane are waiting in line at Disney's Big Thunder Mountain Railroad as the prospector makes his regular safety announcements to everyone in the qu... Watch Your Kids! | Live Sketch Comedy

A rare chance to see me, personally, acting in a live sketch: Reggie and Diane are waiting in line at Disney's Big Thunder Mountain Railroad as the prospector makes his regular safety announcements to everyone in the queue. Reggie takes offense at one part of the message though. youtu.be/XP5yt4Aw3nM

Of course I'm great at creating and maintaining friendships, I'm just wondering how YOU would do it.

If it were easy to be happy, everyone would do it.

Whenever Fred Durst walks into an Italian restaurant, he does it all for the gnocchi.

"Hi Momo" was recently REJECTED from a comedy festival (I guess I'm just too liberal) but I'm sure you all would still be interested in seeing it!

Watch: youtu.be/jiv6jmXWZYM

The name Bridget is just the word Bridge with a "T" at the end of it. We've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time!

The name Bridget is just the word Bridge with a "T" at the end of it. We've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time!

YouTube video by Matt Aromando Coffee Shop Scarecrow | Live Sketch Comedy

Cafes can get a little busy with people on dates, people camping out on wi-fi all day, and other types of loitering. The coffee shop scarecrow keeps the cafe from getting too "bloated" with customers.

Are you sure you didn't mean "narration"? 👿

j/k, it doesn't matter, don't worry about it.

Nothing says, “Let's get this party over with," like a 6-pack of Amstel Light.

YouTube video by Matt Aromando Pull Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps | Sketch Comedy

I made a short about the saying, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” creatively titled Pull Yourself Up By Your Bootstraps. It shows how people misunderstand the point of this idiom. youtu.be/zJBnnd5yrV0

I spent an inordinate amount of time creating an email signature—time for the money to start flowing in.

I'm finally ready to get my life in order.

Robots used to be cool.

The "friend zone" sounds like the kindest part of the playground to be in.

This short film I worked on (assistant camera) had its premiere yesterday. I don't have a link for anyone to watch it but just know that my focus pulling was fire.

Artificial intelligence is getting in way over its head.

It's kind of crazy that One Week by the Barenaked Ladies is still the greatest song of all time.

Reeeeally wish those preorders had already opened. Time to take up temporary residence in Canada for June 5th.

And by twenty years, of course I mean thirty years 😰

People have been calling the new games too expensive, which, fair. But I remember seeing Shadows of the Empire on the Nintendo 64 selling for $90. So, $80 for Mario Kart almost twenty years later isn't that shocking to me.

Pure conjecture but I read someone's opinion that they are basically subsidizing American's Switch 2s by having a slighly higher price around the world so everyone pays the same for it. Primarily because so much of their games sales come from Americans and they don't want to upset those buyers (us).