Dev Doodle, Plant Lady 🌱

*through tears* we are near Austin

Getting my makeup done for my sister's wedding like hey yeah usually my eye bags aren't quite this horrifying but we are staying in a boutique hotel with pine logs in a trench coat for beds, so, you know how it is *twirls hair*.

Being VERY clear with the staff that I have slept on the ground in a tent for weeks, a lot, I am not a princess, I will happily pass out in a desk chair or on the couch, but this seems like a mean prank. I knocked on the mattress with my knuckles and it echoed. Am I on Punked?

a toy dinosaur is standing in front of a christmas tree and saying `` very very very '' . ALT: a toy dinosaur is standing in front of a christmas tree and saying `` very very very '' .

I am going to request another room and if the beds are as bad in that one I am simply going to ask that we change our reservations and go to a normal hotel with human-grade mattressses.

Am I asleep? No. Did I find a comfy spot yet? Also no. But is my phone dying? Yes.

This is not that. This is... crunchy?? I cannot describe it other than it seems like maybe someone made their own mattress out of wood pulp and rebar

My neck. My back. My soul. Again, my back.

Laying here wondering if this is actually just a box spring with sheets on it. My back hurts so bad. Can I sue for injury? Maybe injury to my soul? And my back at the same time?

Nope. :(

Like imagine oohing and aahing over the beautiful lamps and cool ceiling decor at your boutiquey hotel and you go to get in bed and it's like OH SHIT this is even worse than sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor. HOW. Ugh. This planet finds new ways to test me and I disapprove entirely.

I just want to sleep. I got up at like 4, flew here, stressed out all week, social all evening, I am so drained, just super tired, and normally would be uhhhsleeeeep right now but nope. I have slept on grounds softer than this. Like I am literally about to go try the rental car for a soft spot.

I used the contact section on their website to send them an email asking if they got these mattresses off of the side of the road or if they made them themselves out of solid oak.

Yall. I am having /a time/ rn. The place we are staying in is super cute, seems quite clean, amazing views, trails nearby, decorated immaculately, but the bed I am attempting to sleep in right now is the worst bed ever. How does this place have the shittest rock-based mattress in all of Texas?

Here are my stereotypes for the men in states I have lived in:
Texas: Half of them should be in jail
New Jersey: I dated a bassist and he had nice parents
MD: 0 stars 🫡
Oregon: Guys who are into camping but cannot change the oil in their subarus
Indiana: actually huge hogs
Ohio: really depressed

I am in love!!! ❤️

UUUUUGHTHFHFHGHGH you're right.

I guess, but also look at this. Pourquoi

An honor, thank you

Yes but also no.

This man said he had shoes in the closet, so I went in there and pulled out some diabolical square-toe pleather laced up Mormon tabernacle choir 1995 "what are those?" shoes and just about screamed at the top of my lungs.

Today on Are Men Okay? we have contestant Travis who napped until 1pm while his girlfriend had a panic attack about not having her full bridesmaid outfit for literally next weekend and then took her to five shoe stores (nope) and tried on nothing, THEN revealed he ALSO NEEDS SHOES FOR NEXT WEEKEND.

(to the tune of deep in the heart of texas) knights of the old republic

I think if you're going to say stuff like this it is imperative that you do not already look like a candlestick with a grinch smile, like you need to make sure you don't look like a villain the powderpuff girls would knock out FIRST.

I just saw a guy skateboarding on the icy sidewalk and had flashbacks of all those physics problems

Thanksgiving cactus in bloom.

Thanksgiving cactus flower

These are so fabulous 🌱

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Awesome new paper about the prebiotic organic compounds from asteroid Bennu share.google/o7maqUauBm2D...

a close up of a woman 's face with earrings on ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with earrings on

Double boo. I am also glad you can /deal with it/ but ewwww

Thaaaaat suuuuuuucks I am so sorry