michael 🍒

anyone else notice that things seemed to go downhill after kenan and kel went off the air? makes you think.

fine, i'll say it. people who make cooking videos online use whisks too often and in really unsuitable containers. if you're mixing a tiny amount of sauce in a ramekin you don't need to dirty a full size whisk. please show some humility and use a teaspoon

i know people are annoyed that they cast a white guy as heathcliff in the new wuthering heights, but i'm still stuck on the fact that they cast two australians. these two people have "my childhood was without rain" face and they've no business playing those miserable hoors. surfs up baby, scram!!!

50 percent of people who go to watch The Cure actually end up watching Placebo, and enjoy it just as much.

(No, YOU fuck off)

ACAB includes Frasier's da

pretty sure i got an ai-generated response from my semi-urgent email to the intreo office. either that or someone there is an absolute buffoon. either way i now have to physically Go In and give them a piece of my mind (beg them to give me my money)

this post is sponsored by Dennys veggie sausages. they're Pretty Good !

a white person's upper arm, bent at the elbow showing off a black tattoo of a "hot dog" which is a dog that has a bun and condiments on it. another tattoo of a small bunch of shamrocks is partially visible, as well as the edge of a white tshirt the person is wearing.

my dog is barkin! which means we're having hot dogs for dinner

the teaches of peaches are generally accepted to be:
1. suckin on my titties like you wanted me callin me
2. it's fine all of the time
3. IUD
4. stay in school
5. huh?
6. what?

Guy in a car: "Just watched the Melania film. Key notes: Her family were very cruel to her (especially her father, who was played by Danny Devito) Then her school life? Her principle Trunchbull) locking her in the chokey. That,'s so messed up."

just heard about "forced rhubarb" and i'm disgusted. leave her alone!!!

i try not to be such a corny gay guy but i can't help it. last night i did have a dream that the lads from heated rivalry became my best friends, and we took a picture of us all on the floor in a "sleepover pose". sadly i woke up just as it was about to get steamy with hudson williams

somebody’s sweet plums are crowding my icebox

somebody’s cold plums are giving me chills

the addition of 13 seasons of Poirot to netflix is a pretty big deal in my small crew of ballers.

squirrel in the air mid-run

shlow down!

one problem (sort of) dealt with. only five thousand to go!

okay so it turns out if you ignore all your problems, they will pile up until the road ahead of you is just a Giant Stack of Problems with no room to go around so you have to start facing them. and it BLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish bluesky had drafts. some of these bangers need a little longer in the pan

ooh now that sounds good, i love a lime-flavoured thing! pete's going to manchester soon i'll send him on a retrieval mission

i hate them all but lemon doesnt vaguely remind me of ribena and then kick me in the face with Medicine Taste

you are right! but sometimes the old throat isnt great for swallowing pills and if i throw enough honey into it its not too gross

i hate those instagram reels where people are like "hey, take 30 seconds to be mindful with me". like FIRSTLY, don't tell me what to do. and secondly, if i come on instagram to scroll and put my nervous system into the shredder then that's my business

were you wearing your little red bonnet at the time?

✨ NEED A ROOM IN DUBLIN ASAP ✨

I am unfortunately in search of a room to rent again due to house being evicted. If you have any leads please lmk! Looking to move as soon as possible. Ideally living with some nice queers or queer friendly peeps. Tyyy ✨💜🌹

i hate blackcurrant lemsip. it tastes like depressed ribena

if every austic irish person got a euro every time we were accused of being yanks we'd be able to buy houses here

i have a two sided curse where i have a weird accent that doesn't sound like where i'm from AND i am frequently grilled by people i've just met about where i grew up, do i have a parent with another accent, why do i speak like this and so on. idk man! my best guess is autism!

Protestant Cecelia Ahern writes books like PSNI Love You

dodging mormons left and right these days walking through dublin city. now every neatly dressed young lad is getting swerved lest i be gently asked to convert