The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Maybe John Barron has been a real guy this whole time?

You won't allow it, huh.

Well, that's a relief, I guess.

350 is way high, dude.

What if the emergency is that you accidentally elected a malignant narcissist?

I think Mark Kelly is the dark horse in this data. AOC and mayor Pete have made some ground, which is great, but their profiles are already high. I think we should expect a lot more movement between now and the Primary.

Nobody wants a democratic version of Trump. We don't hate Trump because of his tactics and style, we hate him because he's a corrupt, psychopathic, incompetent oligarch who is bent on destroying the country. Wake up, ffs!

Sounds like your cat has been talking with it behind your back.

Imagine the chutzpah, the fucking audacity, of the NYT accusing vote counters of undermining confidence in the electoral system.

Seriously, editorial board, go fuck yourselves!

That fight scene still hits hard though (literally).

That's why they are (and always have been) called the BerenSTAIN bears.

Proofed, lol.

Mate, I hope you do live your best life, I really do. Some lessons life throws at you can be super painful, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. But you come to appreciate them, because they make you who you are.

Keep your eyes open, be willing to learn, and you'll be ok. Good luck!

To be fair, he's right 40% of the time.

If you assume that no single individual has liked more than one of your posts, then you could just add up every like from every post you've made, and that's how many users like you so far.

That's not a joke, it's a micro-aggression.

I'm Trump's world, "good man" is a pejorative.

A bit of competitive homoeroticism really elevates a business meeting, I find.

The Trump Presidency is indeed ridiculous.

I'm extremely relieved that the editors cut out the bit where they started blowing each other.

In a hundred years, no one will even remember that any of us ever existed, so no one gets to tell anyone else how they should be enjoying their short and precious time on this earth.

... to avoid jail.

Inspired by Kathy Griffin.

I'd like to say that the decision to take his kids to school was historically consequential, but it wasn't. If he had died in 2001, there would be some other incompetent asshole taking up his space in the world.

Come back to this post in 20 to 30 years and then see what you think about it.

You guys are a legit power-throuple.

He doesn't want to use phrases that didn't test well with focus groups. It comes across as feckless, and is embarrassing really.

Or you could just emigrate to Australia. It's mostly nice here.

Good to see it's not just history, geography, math, civics and basic science that people are woefully ignorant of.

Sounds more like "Obama explains joke to imbeciles" might be a more accurate headline.

If you had him with you, dead, then the party would probably come to you.

The fact that you think information from 6 months ago is "old" really highlights your lack of wisdom, dude.