Jack Bernhardt

over-used tropes to signify upcoming doom

1. thunder and lightning
2. a character saying "let's split up to find the killer"
3. a single raven pecking at a window
4. my two year old daughter running into a room and declaring "I DON'T NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET"

They are also intentionally conflating machine-learning and generative AI slop to confuse and try to make GenAI seem necessary. Google Maps traffic stuff is machine learning, not GenAI, for example. Auto-correct is too. Don't let them make you lose the thread. GenAI slop is slop.

Wait I just checked, I don't have gullible written on my ceiling, do I have to go back to X

Please ignore, I'm so tired and lazy I didn't even register this was a joke post and now I've replied earnestly, I've become the most tedious parody of a Blueskyer ever

Aw thanks for saying I'm not an idiot, not reading the rest of that though

Yeah I think I'm an idiot, I took it at face value and didn't register that, too deep now though, I'm a humourless pedant

the duality of man

I love the Muppets but you can describe pretty much everyone in existence in these terms, conflicting personality traits is at the heart of any vaguely engaging character

If correlation isn't causation, how come every time causation happened, correlation was there too?!

Jews differ on both Zionism and Mamdani

Amazing pro-Zohran, anti-nationalist op-ed by @rabbiandykahn.com in @nydailynews.com today:

archive.is/ynzrE

yep this is the most important thing, a big part of my life is now based around the concept that correlation is definitely causation and I cannot unpick that thread

when's your Dolmio Day, you ask? EIGHTH OF MAY NINETEEN FORTY FIVE, WHEN THIS COUNTRY STILL HAD GUTS

This is a GREAT question, I remember debating this at the time - I go based on when the show was broadcast rather than recorded (because I am lazy and that info is more readily available) so I counted her as a parent on a technicality, don't look too closely at any of this or it all falls apart

A picture of the disgusting felt monsters, the Dolmio Family puppets

this is what the woke liberati inside the M25 thinks the British family looks like, makes me sick

Excellent point - I've dug a bit more into it here:
bsky.app/profile/jack...

But if you're over 40 and have kids you'll do worse on Taskmaster than if you're over 40 and don't have kids. You should really take this into account before having kids.

Contestants over 40 without kids: 3.02PPT
Contestants over 40 with kids: 2.99PPT

Contestants under 40 without kids: 2.95PPT
Contestants under 40 with kids: 3.04PPT

SO according to my very unscientific research, if you're a parent under 40 you will do well at Taskmaster!

Non parents: 2.97 PPT (points per task)
Parents: 3.00 PPT

Although as someone pointed out, that also perfectly mirrors age, so it may not be the defining factor...:

Contestants 40 and under: 2.97PPT
Contestants 41 and over: 3.00PPT

Yes! I've run the stats on that before series 16 or something and the answer was very much yes! Need to update it though as we've had some more contestants since then so I can look at the spreadsheet later to check...

was particularly happy with that, thank you

I was also upset that Sanjeev said it was late 1600s but I'll overlook that

This is a great fact that I didn't know, I was similarly dismayed at Ania's mention of smog but I guess I was wrong!

Chris Mason once again writing like he’s narrating a children’s book where the protagonist is a bear wearing a little hat.

Taskmaster Series 20 Episode 7: The Stats Round Up Wow now hey nonny hey now no. This total disaster masquerading as stats is just riddled with spoilers for the latest episode of Taskmaster…

scream "a lamb stew" at a doll of Alex Horne and dribble up a ruff, it's the Taskmaster Series 20 Episode 7 stats round up!
jackbern23.medium.com/taskmaster-s...

This story is remarkable and farcical but also: "the line is a dot to you" is a joke from Friends?

I'm interested in becoming a born again Christian, but only if I get to spend 9 months in a big sac of amniotic fluid beforehand

BACKSTREET BOYS: we're BACK
AUDIENCE: WOOO
BACKSTREET BOYS: we're going to ROCK YOUR BODY
AUDIENCE: WOOO
BACKSTREET BOYS: just one QUESTION
AUDIENCE: YEAAAAAH
BACKSTREET BOYS: am I SEXUAL
AUDIENCE:
BACKSTREET BOYS: please can we have some HONEST FEEDBACK

the backstreet boys taking time out of a triumphant song about how THEY'RE BACK and they're going to ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT to ask the audience "am I sexual" will never not be funny to me

You're getting better at chess!

A poster showing Jack The Ripper for London Dungeon with lots of CENSORED signs over various bits.

A close up of his hand, a big CENSORED covering what he's holding

if something says "CENSORED" I'm going to assume it's sexual rather than violent, so in my head it's now canon that Jack the Ripper killed people with a dildo