Johnny Pineapple

I’ll post more in August I swear

slowly turning up the Hitler dial and then backing off once people start booing

this is bluesky pal, it's no dayparts off round these .... parts

no one who uses the term "daypart" should be listened to, about anything

or like JFK

Canada is Uranus 😏🤙🏻

Follow up question for you guys: your baseball team seem to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are they so talented? I’ll hang up and listen

You’re extremely weird bro

earnestness is punk rock. libraries are punk rock. cleaning up litter is punk rock. everything is punk rock except making loud fast music that annoys your neighbors

things of that nature

as a Jays fan, that name sounds familiar..

We got some goths in Canada. We’ll sack your asses

maybe have a knight down there that doesn’t want to climb the tie. “This blonde maiden be not fair!” that kinda shit

Name changed to Sabannah Labubus. Team instantly sells out of all tickets for next 15 years

Alien 1: what is.. “Amazon Prime Day??”

Alien 2: a day on which the hu-mans can make any of their wishes come true — instantly and affordably!!

Alien 1: Nooooo!!!

It makes sense since in the 90s we had yet to invent parks, back yards, batting cages, etc. so where else are you going to get your swings in? Gotta hit the beach

you do this and you immediately turn yourself from actual news into onion-adjacent content except not funny

<Whooooosh>

haha fuck you but also: correct

My bereaved family: Can't believe he's gone. But now, with the power of technology, we can ask him what he thinks about current events

My distorted face glitching on a screen: ToyYotathon Is hERE

all hail our Overlord In Perpetuity Donald A.I. Trump

scathing.

Pedophilia: Public Opinion’s Final Boss - Truthdig If Donald Trump abused girls, it will be his first crime for which there is no law the Supreme Court can ignore or rewrite to make it okay.

Trump's problem with the Epstein story is that his immunity in public opinion has always had a partner, and that partner is AWOL. Pedophilia's the first story where no one will preemptively assume there's another side.

jesus tapdancing christ

fortunately AI famously never gets anything wrong

loser

Tell her that Alberta says hello

If this happened to me my reaction would simply be: consarn it!