Derek B

If “I’ll definitely check it out!” is 75% of the lies I tell, the next 25% is “your set sounded great tonight!”

The beautiful calico known as Cat Benatar.

This week as a middle aged man I has to say the sentences “Bennie is her nickname. Her full name is Cat Benatar.”

Obituary reads “man dies at concert getting a little exercise”

Almost died in the pit when the played “It Was There That I Saw You.” Not because it was particularly violent, but because I weighed 350lbs and was super duper out of shape.

My brother and I ran video stores in Boston. Someone returned to his store an adult film with three fingerprints of lube across the top. He called the customer and refused to return it unless he cleaned it. He was apoplectic, but came in and my brother silently handed him windex and paper towels.

Shirley this guy isn’t serious?

Wanted to see if Matt Rife had plastic surgery and it turns out he’s always had a very punchable face. Kudos to him!

Album cover for Superdags Regretfully Yours

Not a dud on it

I was feeding a stray cat named Sheddy Lee (and his friend Neil Purrt). I was feeding and adopted mama cat I named Cat Benatar (Bennie) and her kitten Jet.

That’s a ten gallon hat on a five gallon head

First time, Charlie Brown?

"You promised me, Lord, that you would walk with me always. Why, when I have needed you most,
have you not been there for me?"

The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set
of footprints, my child, is when I gave you a piggyback ride.”

The tiniest cutest orange cat named jet on a giant teal couch

My guy is a bit too young for trick or treating, but we will get em next year. Sorry Jet!

Happy Horse Fucking Eve to those who celebrate.

This guy is trying to replace stealth for speed and I for one applaud him for it.

I’ve always believed that I have balded gracefully, like Bruce Willis or Jason Statham.

Patriots red throwbacks and Bucs creamsicle unis? What a day!

Is this post meant for Shrek?

Shooting my shot

Neighbor's teen son: "I got a new Onewheel, wanna try it?"

Me (taking off): "Onewheel? More like FUN.."

8 months later, me in full body cast, coming out of coma: "...wheel"

I love walking through the airport wheeling my tiny carry on luggage like a dandy. A real fancy boy.

Pan’s Open Concept #mildhorror

Ugh so early in the series.

I was three—I drove myself home (not smart), had lunch, and slept for 14 hours straight.

Hope all is well!!

Also extremely claustrophobic and had to get an MRI on my brain (they put your head in a box) and I was so whacked out on Xanax the only response I could muster to any question was “no man, rock n roll.”

Hell yeah. Crossover event of the summer.

Man I know I’m getting old sitting here on a Friday night thinking “I should probably pick up a set of forstner bits this weekend.”

Sunn o)))zenpic

Me playing soccer in the yard after exactly 2.5 hard seltzers