Bard to the Bone

Once upon a desert sandy
As through winds the trav'ling man he
Spied the face of Ozymandy
Lying, simply lying there
Suddenly there was some writing
Pon the plinth that he was sighting
That the sand and time were blighting
Quoth the statue, "Now despair"

Noted! (I was 95% sure, but defaulted to my neutral because I'm a coward.)

Don't listen to them, it's totally a thing! These have been here for almost a year now.

Nothing wakes me up in the morning quite like a 100m sprint from the bus that left late to the bus that almost left early.

Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only

If these aren't the actual lines being delivered, nobody tell me.

I need to tidy my bathroom because it has way too many squeeze tubes. One of these days I'm going to end up brushing my teeth with antiseptic cream, I just know it.

If they haven't put it on the shelf yet, they legally can't charge you for it. Grab a box of whatever and just go.

Training my kid to respond to performers’ cries of ‘YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!’ With ‘No YOU can do better than that! The volume and enthusiasm of our participation is a direct reflection on your work thus far!’

Speaking on behalf of myself and the dozen neighborhood dogs that have started barking, can the person letting off fireworks please FUCK OFF!

A few years ago while on vacation, I met a doctor who at the end of his shift would stop at the hotel bar to unwind and he would always ask for an Almond daiquiri.

This, in and of itself, was weird because who ever heard of almond daiquiris, but apparently the liqueur for it exists! Anyways…

Sewing Patterns Rise from DGA Bankruptcy Ashes - Craft Industry Alliance The “Big 4” sewing patterns are saved. Simplicity, McCall’s, Vogue & Butterick get new life under Rubelmann Capital.

& all of the costumers have breathed a sigh of relief🥳

This right here? This is why we get on.

Mistakenly assumed that the poster for a Writhing Retreat had a typo on it and ended up spending the week in a bog with some worm people.

The language of non-consent around AI is really telling. "It's too late to be scared." "It's here whether we want it or not." "You'll have to learn to work with it." "You can't fight the inevitable."

All just variations of "you're not allowed to say no." Creepy technology made by creepy people.

GNU Jane Goodall.

The temptation to write a treatment for a zombie movie, but it's reply guys...

Happy Stanislav Petrov Day! On this day one man prevented the apocalypse.

The Black Parade World Tour is the Eras Tour for people who didn’t do sport in secondary school

Compulsory ID cards would be a bad idea at the best of times, but imagine trying to bring them in when there's a very serious threat of a properly far-right government coming in at the next election.

screenshot of two tables. text is as follows: NU-CIGARETTE BRANDS (1D6) 2-3 LUNGFVCKERS (disgusting stunt cigarettes for punks) 4 Dark Horse Extra Tar (for grown-ups only) 5 Steamboat Williams (old-fashioned taste) 6 Razzberry Ices (heavily flavoured, for ex-vapers) 7 Double Standard Reds (completely average) 8 Double Standard Blues (as above, in a blue packet) 9 Amazon Basics Cigarettes 10 Samsung Smartdarts (app reminds you to smoke) 11-12 Godseye Golds (very expensive, very smooth) SYNTHETIC ALCOBEVS (1D6) 2-3 CANPAGNE (canned sparkling wine analogue) 4 Kikkoman KICK (developed from legacy soy sauce stockpiles) 5 GUNCH (unidentifiable flavour, very alcoholic) 6 Dogbone Draught (masculinity-themed alcopop) 7 OzBoz (Antipodean-style “lager” with a koala mascot) 8 Buckfast 2: BUCKFASTER 9 ScrumpMax XL (ruinous apple-flavoured ethanol) 10 I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vodka (incorrect, you can and will) 11-12 McWiddie 10yr Old (single malt marketed at children)

worldbuilding: it's easy and fun

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall arrested in relation to planned bank job. Claims it was part of his research for upcoming River Frottage Cookbook.

The timing is impeccable though. "Toss 'em a Baby Yoda until this all blows over."

This is the story of one pirate and the series of events that contributed to a pop culture phenomenon, but it's not the whole story. One of the most famous pirates in history, Edward Teach aka Blackbeard, was in fact from the West Country.

Guild of Players Youth Theatre in Dumfries are recruiting for a Youth Theatre Trainee Producer buff.ly/yK9uu8H (deadline - 19 Sep 2025)

It's been a while since some news has properly surprised and disappointed me. I refuse to believe half of these names aren't getting other offers. There is no way they are so out of work they think this is worth it. I can't think of any generous way to look at it, they're just shitheels.

A king penguin facing away from the camera, wearing a military decoration on its right flipper. It is Major General Sir Nils Olav III, a penguin adopted by the Norwegian King's Guard.

Major General Sir Nils Olav III, Baron of Bouvet Island

Reposting the nested screenshot with alt text

Also did you know that Spotify makes all your playlists public by default? I did not 🫠

Also if you want to remove your full name from your account you can do that by removing single sign-on. It lets you set your display name in those cases.

A shelf of large and very old leather books

Try to imagine life in 2641. This is why archives, museums and libraries are AMAZING.

End.