chris

HOWS MY FAVORITE WEBSITE??

I had the twitter handle @GrimesPleaseCallMe for fifteen years and twitter just... Took it from me without warning.

does is still get to cost 50k USD

how’s my favorite website??

I had an old BJJ coach who used to show us techniques “not for tournament — ILLEGAL — but in the parking lot after, now you got him”

friend: why are you crying?

me: I'm having trouble dealing with my grandma's passing

grandma: *slinging a football at my head* just catch it, nerd

the back of a grey car. there is an anime girl sticker on the back window. there are two bumper stickers: "my other car is a hot dog" above a picture of a hot dog with mustard and "if you honk at me i will kill myself"

someone get this person a bluesky invite

Incredible.

twitter is still talking about how girls don’t like you if you use an android phone. I like this app better because you’re all way more unhinged but also somehow more reasonable.

can’t imagine that discourse happening here

they don’t want you to know you can just run a half marathon. you don’t have to train for it just do it.

it’s stupid as fuck and you’ll be crazy sore but it’s legal

can’t feel my ankles

it’s the only one available..

THREAD:

A Terry Pratchett book signing was going pretty much as usual when a man in full wizard regalia asked, "You write about magic with such clarity and honesty, you really seem to have a deep personal understanding. I've always wondered, are you a practitioner yourself?"

I SAID whoever hit my house with that bottle rocket, your moms a hoe

Feels like just yesterday you were considered a wise battle-hardened operator for choosing a well-tested and boring (if dated) web stack.

But today if you’re not using the newest AI autocomplete gadget that shells out to microsoft you’re ngmi

Can’t put my finger on exactly what it is about the software/developer discourse on twitter that bothers me so much but I am glad it’s not here yet

once you find Woodstock you can share

this is my new company, we’re calling it: “prnt”

but my instincts are notoriously bad for this kinda thing. I never thought facebook would take off (it already had when I thought this).

calling it now, Thread flops hard. the thing is that Zuck has a huge head start (all the users and mature social media strategy) but being associated with Instagram won’t work. People who want instagram already have it, and that’s different from what people want in twitter.

to the tune of tri poloski

it’s $100k for a “ride” in the crane but for an extra 50 I’ll swing it around and let you chuck things off

gonna make a startup that just dangles billionaires over the city with a crane 🏗️

U can have nachos for lunch. It’s legal and I’m doing it right now

this is not a self-deprecating shitpost, it’s truly amazing to see what people can put over their heads these days. and it’s a reminder that efficiency of movement is key over everything else in this sport.

In honor of weightlifting national championships, here’s me split-jerking a weight you might see as an opener in the women’s U12 division

they’re rate-limiting ur ass on X, The Everything App

don’t

anyone got any good triscuit flavors for someone just getting into it? I’ve tried most of the intro flavors like original and hint of sea salt but wanna be thorough before moving on to some of the more intermediate varieties

WHAT IS THIS CLAW MACHINE YOU SPEAK OF, THE LAST BIT OF SAND IN KISSINGER'S HOURGLASS HAS BEEN STUCK FOR SOME TIME