Scary-elle 👻 (small titty goth gf)

Went on a very good date where I kicked his ass at mini golf and then we made out by the giant frog in Rittenhouse Square. More dates need to involve me winning at mini golf and making out by giant frogs

Roughly 30 himbos working together to climb the greased pole

Can you even believe Philadelphia is real

I opened Lex today to see if I could get a concert ticket, saw this exact ad, and turned around and walked out like Grandpa Abe

I am wearing a black t-shirt and carrying a mental health clematis

Still here, hello.

At any given time, I am, consciously or unconsciously, trying to make it both the best and the worst experience for people who dare to date me

This week in my Commitment to the Bit, I told the new couple I was hooking up with about my preference to have sex before having dinner together — which we did — but then when they earnestly still tried to serve me a meal afterwards, I pretended to be offended that they didn’t say Grace first

Drunk and bored, could one of you be sexy and interesting at me thank you

A news article headline reads, "White House Plans to Pause $175 Million for Penn Over Transgender Policy." The subheadline states that the decision is part of a broader effort to push universities to end diversity programming and adopt stricter discipline. Below the text is a photograph of a historic building on the University of Pennsylvania's campus, with a statue in the foreground and leafless trees framing the image. The article is authored by Alan Blinder and Michael C. Bender, published on March 19, 2025.

A news article continues discussing the Trump administration's decision to suspend $175 million in federal funding to the University of Pennsylvania due to its policies regarding transgender athletes. The article references a White House social media account announcing the move, citing Penn's support of transgender swimmer Lia Thomas as a justification. A response from Penn states that they have not received official notification and assert they are in compliance with all relevant regulations.

You wouldn't know from reading this New York Times story about Trump punishing the University of Pennsylvania for trans athletes that there are no trans athletes on women's teams at the University of Pennsylvania because the New York Times didn't find that detail worth including

My partner was briefly dating a friend of his before we met, and kept us apart for months because he thought it would be weird. Turns out she rules. What if I stole her. What then

[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]

CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter

If someone doesn’t get me a Creeper plushie I s2g

I went on a date this week and they told me “you’re a great storyteller” which – it must be said – is a cheat code

Sabrina, a beautiful ball python, drapes luxuriously over my shoulder and neck

Please meet my friend Sabrina (cc: @sarahmackattack.bsky.social )

Sometimes I think about what I gave up when I stopped being married, but I live alone right now and have a nasty flu, and three lovers have visited me with support and supplies and countless other friends have offered the same. Family doesn’t always look the way you expect it to.

Dry January is silly bc why did I get so excited about a draft root beer

Help I’m trapped in the orb

Help I’m trapped in the orb

On the Lyft ride home from the restaurant the driver was listening to a mashup of “Sweet Dreams” and “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” and I feel insane

Wednesday night, in line for an event, I heard “Arielle?” and then saw someone I haven’t seen since high school. We hugged and caught up and he said “I thought I recognized you, but I saw you and I was like ‘there’s no way she’s 40.’”

Moisturize, babies!

Hell yea

Go boids

I sent my partner a voice memo over an hour ago of me saying “bounce on it crazy style” in a Count Orlok voice and he left me on read. Do you think we’re broken up

no one has ever lost a rap battle more than this. this is the most you can lose it

This is a weird way for me to find out that I've been a sentient AI this whole time — huge bummer.

Thought to replace my IUD before the next round of court-packing, couldn’t get an appointment before March, then was offered an appointment today. Feels good to be covered for eight years as of right before inauguration 🙃

I know they make people in Not Passively Suicidal versions but it’s a technology that doesn’t make sense to me

One problem with me is that even when things are good I want to die all the time

Love that after nearly 20 years of doing yoga I am still shocked that it works really well for me when I practice with regularity. My dumb bitch brain constantly going “Yoga… makes you feel… good?? 🤯”

I went to the nonalcoholic bar so that I could still have reading-at-the-bar time in Dry January, but it was slow and the bartender kept chatting. At one point, he leaned over my book to say “one nice thing about this place is that there are no drunk men demanding your attention!” and I was like 😐

Non-monogamous but that doesn’t mean I’m not confused when my online crushes flirt with other people.