Coffin Flops

Rest In Piss motherfucker.

It’s only OK to do in the mountains, NOT in a gross bathroom stall.

Like a pig advertising a BBQ joint.

Nytimes is shit from a butt.

My midlife crisis stunt was learning the floss dance on TikTok, then immediately stopped using the app.

This is what it's like being a metalhead.

Why is everyone doing hip thrusts at the gym? Am I missing something?

Moral of the story, we have the money to pay our city workers, we just mismanage it and give cops whatever they want.

In 2025 Parker proposed 15 mil to her “Clean and Green” initiative, none of which goes to paying sanitation workers more. It’s mostly enforcement for illegal dumping and paying other organizations to deal with the trash.

Philly police get paid an average of $32.60/hour with potential to make up to $90k/year
Sanitation workers get $17/hour with hopes of earning $21/hr for seniority.
In 2024, Philly gave the cops another 55.7 million for pensions and inflation adjustment, a 6.9% increase from the previous year.

Looking forward to the Mr. Munch themed glory hole.

Trying to think of a joke where we should go back to the old times and let pigs eat our trash, but pigs like cops, you know?

Here’s a crazy idea. What if we pay people a living wage instead of giving all our money to cops?

Market testing meat-based swimwear didn’t go so well for the swimmers.

What a prude.

Seen in a rest stop bathroom. Someone was obviously trying to change their identify.

Wow cool. The Catholics have a new person to tell them what to do. Can we move on now?

Those shiitakes aren’t going to rehydrate themselves.

Dust Ball Farmer: Please I need to water my crops. How else will we make dust cakes?!

At least let Gritty chase them.

Had a dream where I went to “metal school” and the teacher played guitar and screamed the whole lecture. No one could understand a thing.

If your pets had to go to high school, which clique would they belong to?

I’m sorry Leslie. That really sucks.

He’s got that Leland Palmer look.

The smoke they use to signal the new pope is actually the old pope getting nice and crispy.

Rodney Anonymous is Philly’s Jello Biafra.

I see some honeys tonight that should be having my rabies. Rabies.

Cheez Whiz is short for Cheese Wizard.

What the hell is this Groupon for?

Mammoth Grindr is a hook-up app for gay Mammoths.